And If I Only Had 5 Days

In the midst of the storm…I asked myself…what if I only had 5 days? Five days left on this earth. Would I skip the pain of knowing you to also spare myself the joy of loving you? Would I waste my time playing it safe or would I risk my life to spend every last moment with you? So I asked myself again…what if I only had five days left? FIVE DAYS LEFT…would I waste it feeling angry and insecure about the things I felt God had jilted me from. Would I walk around feeling forgotten? Or would I drop on my knees and thank the Lord that He granted us these five days? Would I walk in the rain alone crying about us not being like other couples around me? Or would I let you hold my hands as we got drenched in our very own unique love? Would I kiss your lips and be grateful that I had this moment? Or would I stand there…alone…bitter…angry…choosing not to forgive you, myself, and God? What if I only had five days left? Seeing you…breathing you…tasting you…would be all I would want to do. I would want to lay in silence…wrapped in your arms…as I listened to our hearts beat in sync. What if I only had 5 days left? Would I allow fear to paralyze me? Would I allow the naysayers to rule our minds? Would I stay away from my one true love? Would I walk the earth lonely and lost in time…not because I was without a man…but because I was WITHOUT YOU? And I asked myself again, what if I only had five days left? Would all the breakups and makeups matter anymore? Would I fall asleep at night feeling like I failed myself or would I awaken with glee each of those five mornings…thankful that you were with me. Thankful that the Good Lord chose me to love you endlessly in the midst of war, hurricanes, tornadoes, and earthquakes. What if I only had five days left? What would each day feel like without you? That’s when it dawned on me that no sun would rise nor set for me…without you being in my life. Even the most dreadful days when pride had consumed us were better days than when I did not even know you…to speak your name…to call out for you…to pray for you. If I only had five days left…just your smile alone would make each day magical. The intensity of my heart skipping a beat…not just because you are beautiful but because over the course of the last 7 years, my heart only responds to the beating of your heart. We…are…in…sync. And those last five days, I would know that every day was worth being with you. Because…you see…some people can walk their entire lives and not have the love we shared in those final hours. Ups, downs, madness, and insecurities were all worth it…for those moments taught us how to appreciate these five God given days. And there I laid in your arms…praying that even on the other side of eternity…He will grant us five more days…. ~KJM on Charm School Monday…remembering the turning point I was at a few weeks ago with the Ex Factor. If you only had five days, would it all be worth it?