Happy Charm School Monday! Today I’m actually sharing a post that I wrote at the end of August on my personal page. It really spoke to a lot of my mommy friends so now I’m sharing it with all of you! Even though my generation is getting better on raising awareness about postpartum depression…there’s still so much hidden shame in experiencing it and still a need for a continuous dialogue about how it affects each woman differently and how many women suffer from it. I hope and pray that today’s blog will infuse the discussion, raise awareness, and help build a community of support for these beautiful mothers! Okay here it is…a passage from my August 30 personal post that I have now titled “After The Baby Came…The Rain Fell”: “To all the MOMMIES and DADDIES: Today I overheard a male coworker telling some female coworkers how crazy his ex wife/mother of his daughter was. He said they were married for 6 years and were doing well until she gave birth to their daughter. He whined about the fact that he was there for her and helped out with their child but she stopped wanting him to go out and grab a beer with his friends twice a month. “I was so good to her”…he said. “She was just crazy (and still is) but I love my daughter!” I did not know this man at all but something in me decided to interject and speak on his ex wife’s behalf because he said she was still making his life a living hell and he’s 42….too young for this shit! His words not mine. I politely laid into his ass! I told him that I’ve never known a woman who gave birth and wasn’t CHANGED! Baby blues and depression are real!!! Even if a woman never put on a pound and is back to her pre baby weight…it takes her a long while (from what I’ve seen with all my friends) to be confident in her own skin! Every woman is mentally, psychologically, and physically changed after giving birth (no matter how easy or hard the labor/c section was). She steps outside herself. She is insecure for sometime. She is exhausted! And she has lost herself while trying to be a good mom! I turned to him and said….your ex is not a bitch….she’s depressed! She didn’t know how to tell you what was wrong so it came out in anger. She needed you more than the previous 6 years of marriage and you sir fell short. Diagnosed her as crazy when all she probably needed was a bit more attention from you. And FYI if you were “good to her” no need to brag about it…that’s what your ass should have been doing as she fought to bring and sustain LIFE into this world! You will never know what that feels like! His response was silence at first and then he said none of this had ever occurred to him before. Then I said…I’m sorry for interjecting but for the sake of your 5 year old daughter and co-parenting…please treat her with respect and as someone who may not be well. She may still be lost but what a way to get lost….by bringing your daughter in the world??” ~KJM flashing back on Charm School Monday.?
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