Giving advice is not really my thing. I do, however, make heavy recommendations to single women dating because I am a single woman dating! ? This past weekend a friend of mine was venting her frustrations about her boyfriend of 6 months. She’s ready to put them first while he is still focused on friends, career, and fun. ? This is when I decided to share some helpful tips that I learned through my failures in love with the Ex Factor. Hope this helps someone out there. 5. STAY PHYSICALLY INDEPENDENT! Now this one I have excelled at. I love traveling alone, hanging with my friends, and having lots of ME time! ?? Men are trained to live their lives to the fullest whether they are dating, married, or single. They give up almost nothing for relationships. They tend to still have the same friends, still hang out with their friends often, still put their careers first, and still make themselves the focus of their own lives! ? It’s time we women join them! We need to not lose ourselves when in a relationship. WE should not be chosen over I at all times…especially in dating! Our identities should not be lost because we love. Therefore, single women…please stay in love with yourselves! Focus on your friends and your career even when dating. Stay well balanced! This will help build a strong and healthy relationship because even if a man really loves us, he still won’t want us attached to his ass 24/7. He is an independent human being. Thus, we should be too! ?? 4. STAY EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT! Now this one I have fucked up on! A MAN IS JUST A MAN! He is just one factor of our lives. We should have so much joy outside of him. A man should not control whether we have a bad day or a good one….for he is NOT GOD! The sun does not rise nor set on his ass. He is just a man. Yes he can lift us up in bad times or drag us down but that’s just one part of our lives. If we have an argument with our man…the rest of the day should not go straight to hell. Repeat this for me…I, A WOMAN, AM THE MASTER OF MY OWN DESTINY! NO MAN CONTROLS ME! ?? Our day may have not started nor ended the way we would have liked but we are going to make the best of it and be grateful for all the things going right in our lives. My love for a man is just one part of the fabulous elements the lie within me! ?3. YOUR MAN IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND! Your man is not your girlfriend so do not expect him to think like one. He will, most likely unintentionally, forget things or not notice things. This does not mean he doesn’t love you….just means attention to detail is not his thing. Your man probably won’t want to spend hours gossiping with you. Peace is probably his number one priority. Try to remember that when you get frustrated with him for not listening to some of your daily complaints about life. Your man probably does not want to hear every thought in your head either! ? Also, be aware that he is not thinking about you all day long! He’s got better shit to do (like at work) and you should too! ?? 2. DO NOT TRY TO MANIPULATE HIM INTO DOING THINGS! A man will only do what he truly wants to. If you try to con him or force him to be ready for something he isn’t…it will back fire. I have seen women give men ultimatums about marrying them, the men commit begrudgingly, and then folks are divorced after one year of marriage! ?Communication about the goals you both are setting for your relationship is best. If he’s dragging his feet…just know that if you force his hand…you will be the one to pay the greatest price! ?? If you don’t want to wait…move on and don’t look back! Manipulation, however, typically does not work…for long. 1. A WOMAN’S LOVE AND PATIENCE! It use to really bother me hearing that I love the Ex Factor more than he loves me. I think it’s true but I resent feeling that way. At least I use to. Recently, I awoke realizing that a woman’s love for a man will always be greater than his for us. Don’t believe me? We ruin our mind, body, and spirit to bare their children! No man could ever repay that debt with his love! Our love is suppose to be greater, more reliable, and stronger. Whether we bare children or not…we are the mothers of this earth! We give life. No man can love that deeply. Since the dawn of time…we love them to madness. Now this does not mean that our love for ourselves should not be greater! All it means is a man can never outdo a woman in love. It is our birth right…they will disappoint us and we will still love. And our love will be filled with the type of patience and understanding that not even we can fathom! ????MY LOVE IS GREATER…FOR I AM WOMAN! STRONG ENOUGH TO LOVE WITHOUT BREAKING NOR DESTROYING! I AM THE GIVER OF LIFE. I BIRTH PAIN AND STILL BUILD NATIONS! ?? No man’s love can ever compete. ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday. There’s no shame in loving a man…only shame in forgetting to love ourselves. ?
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