Every now and then I create a blog for the available and dating men. This just so happens to be one. Earlier in the week I tackled the idea that most of us are dating different versions of the same person…our type and how that is damaging our love lives. One of the biggest mistakes I find men make in dating (when they are ready for a serious relationship…that is ?) is they go after these unavailable women! ??♀️ These dudes don’t just love the chase…they need it! ? They may not know it but engaged, married, or in a relationship women give them a rise. Their interests are piqued…not realizing that the odds of these women choosing them are slim to none…because these women are physically, mentally, and emotionally unavailable! If you are one of these guys…leave these women alone unless you are okay with being boyfriend number two! ? And trust and believe that is not where you want to be if you are ready for true, unconditional, and reciprocated love. Winning her heart should not mean dueling another man for her! ??♀️ Now that we have that settled…on to the rest of you guys who are meeting women after a breakup. I don’t care if she just broke up with her boyfriend of six months or just divorced her husband….the wounds here are still open! RUN if you don’t want a messy love life. ?? Now I know some of you fools are crawling…to you I say…get ready to either be friend zoned or made boyfriend number 2. You may get a chance to hit it…but once she climaxes…she will be pining for her true love. If your only goal is sex…there’s a chance you may get it from this newly broken hearted woman but if love was involved in her last relationship…you must be aware that the pussy and the heart don’t travel in the same lanes. On breaks…I have given away the pussy…but my heart is still the Ex Factor’s! Trust…I know what I speak of! And for most women…not all…the heart rules (unless money is involved ? but that’s another lesson for another day). If you truly want to seriously pursue this newly out of a relationship woman…heed my advice. If you know a lot about her ex…he is still in her heart. Don’t you dare say that you are better than him because truth be told…you probably aren’t! ✌? Now hear me out…the Ex has known her longer, knows her G spot (we tend to not mention bad in bed exes unless it’s some sort of social experiment and we want to prevent others from bad sex???), has her heart, and knows her mentally! We women know right off the bat how damaging a man’s ex can be. We start to social media stalk his ex as soon as we have enough information! ??♀️ This may seem crazy but it’s not (unless a woman continues to obsess about her new man’s ex). This is a smart play (when no obsession is involved) so that you know what you are up against because let’s be real…what you don’t know CAN hurt you in the game of love. Men have such huge egos that y’all start to mentally (and sometimes physically ?) stroke your dicks…automatically thinking your dick is bigger than his!!! Doubt it but even if that is true like in the case of Julio and the Ex Factor (yeah baby ?)….only LOVE can win your new woman over!!! Though a new big dick helps! ? When I say love…I don’t mean fake romancing her so she chooses you! I mean natural love that the universe sends you both. I have at least one friend who choose the second guy and are currently happily married! ?? It can be done but not through trickery or the chase. Also it is silly to continuously play the listening ear of why her last relationship did not last. You, the man, must openly state your interest…and then back away and let her naturally come to you! Let her choose you! The Ex Factor did just that and I chose him! I had known Julio for 13 years but I still chose the Ex Factor!!! And in that choice…I found a deeper love. No regrets about that choice. It was the right one for my heart. The Ex Factor and I use to joke about the fact that by the end of the summer (2010) Julio would win me back…that was EIGHT years ago and I never took Julio back!!! The stars had aligned (for better or for worse) and I had found love. So let your new woman freely choose you or you will forever be dealing with her going back and forth with her ex or dealing with the ghost of her ex. ? We all have baggage but if pursued openly and honestly by a safe and secure love…we do have the ability to unpack that baggage forever! ?? Good luck out there guys! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday ?