One of the scariest things I’ve heard about folks (especially women over 35 years old) is that many settle when finding a life partner. ? Fuck! Being that I cannot even imagine living with a man…I don’t think this will be me but hey you never know. ? Apparently women over 35 years old (especially the ones who definitely want children) have a greater chance of picking a good enough partner. Scary! I know relationships aren’t fairytales but I can’t imagine laying next to a man (for the rest of my life) just because I don’t want to be alone. In my opinion, there are two kinds of settling. The first is when you love someone who just doesn’t deserve you. I’ve done this twice in my life (Julio and the Ex Factor). And then there’s the I don’t care who he is…I just don’t want to be alone settling. Never been guilty of the latter because ALONE IS MY COMFORT ZONE! I vacation by myself…often…and the one relationship I’m constantly trying to improve is the one with myself. I do date nights with myself. Hell, I use to hit my own G spot better than anyone else (minus Crazy from college of course??). I would be late for hanging out with my friends because I decided to give myself some extra attention! ???? I miss those days! ?To me, men mean trouble so I generally pop my pill and hope to not bump into one I like….but if I do, my womb is protected! ?? Now back to this settling mess. A wise person would say settling of any kind is bad but I tend to think that choosing the wrong one out of love is better than settling for any Johnny cum lately. But that’s just me! ? Not trying to justify the mess I’m in and have been in for the last 7 years. It’s a mess plain and simple. And while the Ex Factor and I struggle to let go…I just think to myself…what the fuck?! Lol. But I digress. The only thing I’ve been yearning for in the last 10 years is a dog and my Daddy still says no to me getting one because he doesn’t want to get stuck watching Poochie when I work too much or are off traveling. ? Really Daddy? I think you and Poochie would be so close. ? Wait until he realizes that that’s his only chance at having a grandchild. ?It’s like a dog or nothing. Pending God’s plan of course. ? But I digress again. It’s pretty scary to think that out of desperation me and my over 35 pals may pick anyone. Even with my biological clock being rolled under a MAC truck on I95s, this theory of settling to not be lonely is freaking scary. Terrified for a second but then had a brilliant thought. Let me play devil’s advocate. What if I told you that a large group of my friends (male and female) settled in their 20s! I’ve a good amount of friends on second marriages or divorced. No judgment here but the point is if one has a fear of being alone…it will probably pop up way before turning 35! Many of my friends got married almost right out of college to whomever they had been going steady with for more than 2 years. Some chose the spouse who could commit over a spouse that lights a fire in them. Meaning…many probably did not marry or settle down with the loves of their lives….cause as we know…sometimes the person we love the most…just ain’t good for us. Some folks married rebounds because the timing was right. And I’m not basing this from just my observation…I’m also basing it on what my friends have said! There is something refreshing about a man who can commit but every time I run into one…I usually have to force myself to be attracted to them. Referring to my ugly on the inside and outside rebound men with money. ?? It’s hard to meet a good quality person no matter their looks. Not to mention a lot of my female friends had to put up with ex wives and baby mamas. Is it too much to ask for a man who does not have this kind of baggage at 36?! This may be why I date younger! Accidentally of course. ? I don’t want to deal with physical baggage…I have enough emotional. ? That may sound selfish but that’s where I am. Settling is such a terrible concept but in actuality…most people do it at any age. Just some realize it later! ?? ~KJM on Hump Day!
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