It…that is…loneliness…never visits me when I am truly alone. You see…I find comfort in myself. For some reason…it surrounds me and begins to drown me when you are in my life. Head deep underwater as I struggle to launch myself above the surface. I have been teaching myself how to survive death by drowning in loneliness since I started dating…at the age of 15. Only rely on yourself, Kingston. Let them fall in love but don’t you dare fall in love, Kingston. Never truly open up to any of them, Kingston. With each stroke in the water…I swam…holding my breath and diving underwater only during the times I felt like I was ready for adventure. This case of the loneliness was never a thing until I laid eyes on you. The more I hear from you is the more lonely I get. I forgot to teach young Kingston this one…never beg them to love you, Kingston! Up until this point, I never had to. Their “love” came easily and freely. And if they ever left…I held the door open for them. That was me…until I caught the case of the loneliness. This sudden sadness comes over me and I am suddenly disgusted with the thought of us. I long to swim freely again. This never ending cycle consumes me like nothing before. Love has forsaken me and all I’m left with is a false memory. I long to break away. This cannot be love. This is a hostage situation. I can’t breathe. Water is filling up my lungs. The one I let my guard down for is secretly drowning me…with a smile! I…am…trying…to launch myself above water. I am trying to break free. I am trying to make the case of the loneliness a faint memory…. ~KJM on Charm School Monday.