This morning I read a post that said “I wish everyone could be loved the way they need to be.” It stopped me dead in my tracks…because this is the current theme between the Ex Factor and I. What he needs to feel loved (oops…let me go send him a sweet good morning text…ok finished?) is so different from what I need. We just speak two different languages and it often leaves me feeling unloved and unappreciated. As we communicate more, I’m starting to realize that I’m definitely wrong…I am loved…it’s just the way he loves is not my preference. While I have yet to read the book “The 5 Love Languages” (it’s on my to do list), I can acknowledge that we all don’t give nor receive love the same! ?? I wish I had understood that 6.5 years ago when I met the Ex Factor but better late than never. ?? Understanding that we have different love languages, in my opinion, is one of the first steps to working on communication in a relationship. Like how can I reach your heart Babe?! Build me a map and I shall be there…even if I have to swim in unchartered seas.? A few months ago, I read an interview with LaLa Anthony who said she had to teach her husband, Carmelo, how to love her. At first, I did not give much of what she was saying much thought. Shouldn’t he know how to love her? How to caress her? How to make her feel wanted? Recently, it dawned on me that couples do have to be taught how to speak each other’s love languages. For example, the Ex Factor’s love languages are Physical Touch and Quality Time. Mine are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. He always wants to be close after we make up from an argument and I feel the total opposite. Seeing him is the last thing I want to do! ?? Even if we have one language in common (Quality Time) how we view it is similar yet different. ? The Ex Factor has figured out that I like to be held and so he has learned…on his own??to hold me for longer periods of time. PROGRESS! ?? And I need to stop assuming that I am not loved. I’m crazy but not stupid. He would not be in my life if I did not feel that he genuinely cares for me. ? I just vent a lot and go through stages of doubt (publicly). ?? What? Don’t judge me! This blog wouldn’t be half as interesting if Love found and kept me easily… LOVE…I won’t go easily and I damn sure won’t go quietly but if you are as great as they say you are…I will forever be yours once I feel your arms around me. ?~KJM on Flashback Friday?
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