Happy Flashback Friday! I am so sorry that my blogging has been so infrequent. My current transition has me in deep thought. There are days I miss the Ex Factor (not really spending time with him but talking to him) and other times I know that I made the right decision for the BOTH of us. He is emotionally unavailable and I want a man that is capable of feeling. Putting all that aside, I awoke a few mornings ago feeling a sense of relief for two reasons. First, when my loved ones are complaining about their spouses…I no longer have any complaints. I’m just a listening ear and that’s a great feeling! Secondly, and this one is the hardest one to swallow, with no Ex Factor aka younger man…women can finally stop questioning my fucking reproductive system!!!✌? Some distasteful women (I remember all your names) reminded me that the Ex Factor could always leave me and start a family later on in life because he is so much younger than me. I hate to admit it but some of that fear kept me self sabotaging myself and us. I free him every time to fuck who he wants, fall in love, or start a family when he sees fit. An even bigger fear was that he would stay with me and when he wanted children…I may not be able to have them. ? This fear crippled me day and night. I have never checked up on my reproductive system. Every year I have my annual GYN visit filled with STD tests and a stamp of approval saying I’m not pregnant and can go fuck freely with my birth control in hand. ?? After I get the good news, I ride off into the sexual sunset. ?? I have never asked my GYN to check up on my eggs. And now that the Ex Factor and I are over…I have no plans of it. I meant it when I said he was my baby’s daddy. Without him…I’m back to not having a desire to have children…especially naturally. Auntie Kingston is just that. AUNTIE! And that got me to thinking….what age group should I date in when I’m ready? If I want my reproductive system to just breathe…50 year old men sound about right. By his 50s he may have been married before (and now divorced) and should have some grown ass children. Auntie Kingston loves children but purposely created a life without them. I LOVE MY FREEDOM! Thus, I need a man free to focus on us. No time for small children. I don’t even have a dog and have been wanting one for so long. ?? My schedule is not conducive to me having anyone nor anything waiting at home for me. Anyways…back to the 50s. I really want to apologize to 50 year old women looking for men their age. It’s unfair for my 37 year old fine ass to enter your market. Yikes! ? But I yearn for the freedom most of you have….done raising children and currently traveling the world. ?? Before I jump into your market though…there are a few obstacles with dating 50 year old men. First, I don’t like older men. I haven’t since I was 14 years old. ?? Second, I am a daddy’s girl so it’s mad creepy to be dating in his age group. Both my parents look really young for their age! And because I got a Daddy…I damn sure don’t need another one! ?? Third, I know a lot of 50 and 60 year old fools! Got an uncle in his 60s still giving out promise rings to his baby mamas! ???? If at 60 a man isn’t ready to commit…bitch run! I promise you that you will end up on an episode of “Snapped” waiting on a man that old. ? Uncle, get your shit together!!! But I digress! My point is I know age does not equal maturity!!! Fourth, a man in his 50s needs to be financially stable with some extra coins in the bank. That means money is a big factor in my consideration of dating in this age group. I have struggled with 20 and 30 years old but I will be damned if I have to fuck old broke balls! ?? Just keeping it real. No young sperm here that can serve as a consolation prize if things don’t work out!!!! ? I will work with a man in his 20s and 30s and love him where he is at but once a man (of ANY race) hits 40s…my work with a brotha program has officially ended! From ages 20-28, I loved the Ex Factor for exactly who he was and where he was in life. I only wanted him to be more caring. ? I wanted to feel loved and desired by him and only him. He probably won’t get that until 20 years from now when he’s with who he is suppose to be with….he may then finally realize how much I loved him. ? Some men just aren’t ready to be loved unconditionally! ? But I digress again! Fifth, if he’s in his 50s…he better be fit and look like my parents…like he is in his 30s and 40s. Part of this is for superficial reasons and the other part is about if we find real love…I need to know he will live to be around for as many decades as he can! ? Lastly, a man of any age needs to trust me and respect my freedom!!! My solo trips are a huge part of who I am. I don’t want that to change…especially not for a man! ?? Once I get pass these obstacles, I think my new dating plan just might work! And for once I will be the PYT (Pretty Young Thang). ? ~KJM on Flashback Friday? For my singles out there, what age groups are you dating in and why? Best wishes in love and life no matter what you decide! ?
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