This is the story of the sweetest “I love you” I have ever received. It wasn’t that I forgot. I think it’s just been a special memory locked in the treasure trove in my heart. That’s where Corey will always be. Brace yourself. This is truly one of those “feel something after you are done reading” blogs. My cousin, Larry, and I were a year apart but in the same grade. Growing up…we were super close. Since he was a boy and I was a tomboy until I was 16 years old, Larry and I did everything together. He taught me how to ride a bike, in-line skate, and even how to drive (minus parking?). And Larry didn’t teach me things the easy way because I was a girl. I still have some of the scars from learning how to bike ride (without a training wheel?). Down the hill I would go and fall I would…scraping up my arms and legs! ? Larry had a childhood best friend named Corey. I’ve known Corey since grade school. I don’t have too many childhood memories that don’t include Corey and Larry…that’s how close we all were. Corey knew me before I had breasts! And the last time we saw each other, I was on my way to college and still a virgin!?One day I was in Larry’s kitchen washing dishes. It was probably our senior year of high school. Somehow Larry made the mistake of leaving Corey and I alone. My cousin’s rule as we grew up was I was still one of his closest friends and family so I could roll with him and his boys anywhere BUT since we both knew I was a girl and my cousin wanted to protect me…he made the rule that I could never date any of his friends. ? Several of them had crushes on me over the years but Larry shut that shit down quick. It never bothered me. I could respect Larry’s need to protect me. So there Corey and I were…alone in my uncle’s kitchen as I was washing plates. When Corey first entered the kitchen, I did not bother to turn around and address him for my focus were on those damn dishes! ? He interrupted my thoughts of dish pan hands by telling me that I had grown into a beautiful young woman and….HE HAD FEELINGS FOR ME! ?? I could feel his words lingering in the air as we both stood there in silence. It’s like he was waiting for me to say something while I was trying to find the words. Before I could gather my thoughts and share them with Corey…Larry interrupted us!? Then it was back to the dishes I went! This all happened our senior year of high school. Shortly after, Corey enlisted in the Army and I went off to Penn State. It would be about another year and a half before I would hear from Corey. There I was again in a kitchen…nobody would fucking believe I was once so domesticated…but this time it was the kitchen in the efficiency apartment I shared with my college roomie, Autumn (Scarlet’s sister) starting my Sophomore year at Penn State. Our home line rang and it was Corey! ? He was calling to tell me that the Army was shipping him to Bosnia shortly and he wanted my address to send me something. I didn’t question it…I just gave Corey my address. A few days later, to my surprise, a letter from Corey arrived! And it would become known to me and my college friends as the sweetest love letter ever written to me. ? My heart started to pound as I read every word. My body became light and I felt faint. All of these emotions came pouring out of Corey’s letter. He was in love with me and had been since we were kids. And now that he was being shipped over seas and unsure of what to expect…he didn’t want to waste another minute of life without letting me know how much I was loved! ? I reread every word of that first letter and the series of letters Corey sent me during Summer 2001 to all my female friends at school. We would gather…like 10 of us…and swoon as I read his letters over and over. ? I started to write Corey back as I now had his Bosnia address (for the time being). But I stepped things up and created a care package of photographs of me, a brand new thong, and some other special items that I wanted him to lay at night with. I wanted Corey to know…that even though we had never kissed…he was loved and I was his. He was so happy to receive my package and years later I would find out that he still slept with my pictures under his pillow and my special items (thong included) had made it back to the US! ? You may now be wondering how we managed to lose contact? At the start of my junior year in college…terrorists attacked NYC on September 11, 2001. Shortly after, I received a message from Corey that he was being sent to Afghanistan and was not sure if he would be able to write as our country was now going to war!!! My heart dropped! Love a man and lose him to war. My love would be somewhere in the Middle East fighting to protect the citizens of the United States (I was still a Jamaican citizen at this time and a US permanent resident). Even though neither of us said it…we were both worried Corey would not make it back to the US alive! ? I felt so helpless. But what could we do? We were young adults…and one of us promised to bear arms to protect our freedom. It would be about another 6 years before I would hear Corey’s voice again. Before that though, Larry informed me that Corey had gotten some woman pregnant, married her, and they had had a little girl. It was like my heart stopped but I made peace with it all by thanking God for keeping him alive. Even though our love was not meant to be…I carried Corey in my heart for years. I think there is a tiny part of my heart that will always belong to him. And so…6 years later, I would be in NC for graduate school…shopping in a Super Walmart…when my cell phone would ring and it would be Corey! ? Some how he convinced Larry to give him my number. Once again, my body felt faint because there was my love…alive…and reaching out to me! Only problem was…he was unhappily married! Now you know I don’t do the married man thing so I had to make myself clear…friendship was all I had to offer! And I only put that on the table because I loved him and we grew up together. For a while we kept in touch but Corey would always warn me not to leave him a voicemail (no matter how innocent it was) because his wife checked them. Not surprised as Corey was quite the male hoe when we were growing up. If his wife knew him well, she would stay on him. One day I forgot and left Corey a voicemail. He called me in a panic and that’s when I told him I couldn’t handle feeling like the other woman…when I wasn’t! So we agreed to stop contacting each other. As long as he was married, there wasn’t even hope of a friendship. We never spoke after that…though I know that he and Larry still keep in touch. When I first started writing this blog, I googled Corey and found all the places he had lived after he got out of the Army. I even tried some of the old phone numbers listed but none were still in service. I could not find him on any social networks but I did find his sister (who I also grew up with) and his beautiful teenage daughter. Now I know what you are thinking…why not ask Larry?! Well you know Larry’s rules…no dating nor falling in love with any of his friends! Doesn’t matter if we are in our 30s now! lol. Besides, so much has happened during the time we were apart. I got my heart broken twice (once by Julio and then by the Ex Factor). And I don’t even know if he’s still married nor looks the same with that tall football build, caramel skin, and black wavy hair. We are both probably so different now. I’m jaded because of all the times I went looking for love in all the wrong places. And who knows what his story is. But I do know he is alive and to this day…he has written me the greatest love letter ever! No one could compete…unless it’s my future husband.? Corey, if you are reading this…thank you my love. Thank you for it all. For the love we never got to share stays perfectly locked in the treasure trove I call my heart…never losing it’s value and never lost in time. For in those sweet moments…you were mine. ? ~KJM blogging from an airplane on Hump Day but dropping this blog on Throwback Thursday. It’s my two year blogging anniversary and I just couldn’t leave y’all hanging! ?
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