This is a new twisted story of the his hat in my cat. ? You are not dyslexic…you read that right. ?There are times when we women are simply not in the mood for sex. Truthfully, I have a pretty high libido so the only time I really shut my shop and close my puss for a night or a season ? is when the Ex Factor puts his foot in his mouth! ??โโ๏ธ He says something stupid and I dry up instantly! ? I tell him…pet the cat, be nice to the cat, tell the cat sweet words, be loyal to the cat (or she could stray), and never forsake the cat. ?????? These are some of my foundational rules to open the pussy shop. All of these rules are based on respecting the essence of my vagina. Ever since I was young, Mama Michaels would randomly yell (and later on when I moved out of my parents house…randomly call to say) that MY PUSSY IS PLATINUM! ?? Mom been saying that before platinum jewelry was the thing everyone desired! ? She put me on to my pussy powers way before I fully understood them. Thanks mom! ?? But I digress. Back to his hat in my cat! ?? The other night the Ex Factor and I had some bomb ass makeup sex. ?? We introduced something new into our sex life…per my request. The Ex Factor and I both know how to signal to each other when we are in the mood for something different. This time I had an idea which I sprang on him in the midst of sex and it worked out well. PUSSY WALLS OPEN! ?? Yo…for all of our mess…I am really happy that in 8 years of dating on and off…we still desire each other. We still lust after each other. ??? This is why I hate closing the shop on him. ? But I got the right to exercise my pussy powers….which according to Mama Michaels…is a birth right for smart women! ?????? I mean where would straight men be without the puss?! ??โโ๏ธ Maybe the land of their hands just fell off (masturbation land) or blue balls city?! ??โโ๏ธ??โโ๏ธ No matter what…pussy literally and figuratively makes the world go round! We are the givers of life! And they better recognize! ?? Now back to these bedroom antics. Ever since I met the Ex Factor, he does two things that turn me the fuck on: when I close up shop…he pays homage to my vagina. If he got to sing to it to open it up…he does it. The Ex Factor lets it be known that there’s nothing like my pussy shop. ? And then when I finally let him in…he makes these expressions of deep pleasure. I have never seen anything like it. All my men before, especially Julio, have always told me how great my cat was (without me ever having to ask) but the faces the Ex Factor makes take the cake! ? LITERALLY! ? I’m like damn bae…it’s really that great? ? Better not fuck up then! ??? In my opinion, at the core of sex is power. When I am posted on top of the Ex Factor….he can’t move. He is under my trance and I fucking love it. Hell…I fucking need that! I need to be in control (most times) in the bedroom. My experiences have taught me that if you depend on a man to guide you through your body…your sexual experience will be diminished! I mean…who knows our bodies like we do? NO ONE! Thus, never leave them in charge of pleasing you! Men need direction at every point in life…ESPECIALLY when it comes to women! ??โโ๏ธ So be specific when directing your man in the bedroom! ?? And don’t be afraid to take charge. Guide them to that G spot…cause most men will be able to find Waldo long before they find the spot that makes us women lose our minds! ??โโ๏ธ Where the fuck is that dude Waldo anyways?! ??? Not really looking for him…but I am looking for my next orgasm! ? Now where’s the moral of this tale? Oh yes…sometimes men seem like dogs the way they lust after us. However, if you have been with your man for a really long time…and you still love each other…and you both still really desire each other…open up that cat (upon a respectful request that is AND sometimes impromptu) and let him in. ? ~KJM on Hump Day! Hump often, hump in a caring way, and hump consensually! ?
Whenever I Try To Hide The Cat (Not A Doctor Seuss Tale Edition)
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