Happy Hump Day Everyone! Spring has been very delayed…thus my winter blues have continued. I have not felt like blogging much this week. However, when I am present…I’m all the way in. ?? Today I want to discuss a topic that I find highly interesting: The Doggy Style position! It use to be my second favorite position with the Ex Factor but as the years went on…I sometimes found myself dreading it! ? I have always known that sex is a form of communication but only recently did I realize that the type of Doggy Style position we experience with our partners reveals so much about our daily lives! Here are my top 5 Doggy Style position communication tips: 5. THE RAM IT IN (WITH NO LUBE)! Fuck. Doggy Style can put you and your partner in a very erotic zone but timing is everything! If that pussy ain’t wet…I mean extremely wet…then Doggy Style is gonna rip her pussy apart! It is not a foreplay position! ✌? It is a “you warmed up the cold car and that car (her vagina) is now ready for a long distance drive by a very well trained driver!” Ramming your dick into dry pussy should never be a thing! From the back…that shit can land a chick in the hospital! Be gentle and watch your timing! COMMUNICATION TRANSLATION: if your boo is ramming it in and hurting your ass…he’s most likely selfish and you guys are probably not on the same page in life. ABORT MISSION! ✌?✌?✌?I would say stop sexing him but if you still want to…serve him up some of that same old tired missionary position. He earned it! ???? 4. THE OOCH OOCH OUCH! Yikes. This one irritates my soul. He sticks it in…it slides out. He tells you that you need to arch your back more…never thinking that this is all happening because of his extra tiny penis or his lack of maneuvering skills! ??♀️ Your partner is placing the blame on you and this Doggy Style is just lost in translation! ? Each stroke either hurts you or barely feels like penetration. COMMUNICATION TRANSLATION: you guys are either drunk, don’t know each other well, or are unsure of where this relationship is going. He is sticking it in when your vagina is forcing him out. You guys cannot get one stroke in unison. ??♀️ This is one of those teaching moments…that is if you guys are patient and willing to learn it each other’s bodies. Inhale and exhale together. The mission is to get to the mountain top together. But first you must acknowledge the disconnect. Reconnect slowly and build up the trust that is needed to execute the Doggy Style position effortlessly. ?? 3. THE DEAD UPON ARRIVAL! ??♀️??♀️??♀️ Ugh. Fuck. Some men love the Doggy Style position so much that they cum at first thrust! ?? Sir, why would you want to do a position that only satisfies you? Selfish prick! COMMUNICATION TRANSLATION: He is either very selfish, has some medical issue (does he cum quickly in general?), or all of the above. ABORT MISSION!✌?✌?✌? Only he is going to get his in that 30 seconds of thrusting. Now he may just be in love with your pussy from that angle but since he knew it wasn’t going to be fun for you…nor satisfying…it’s safe to say he was only focused on his orgasm! ✌?2. THE BACK THAT ASS UP! Now we are getting somewhere! Stroke for stroke…rhythm for rhythm you and boo are getting it in! Shit…yall have even managed to occasionally reach the mountain together! You in a real Juvenile (the rapper) video! ? COMMUNICATION TRANSLATION: you and your partner have reconnected! Whether you were in the process of getting to know each other or your out of the bedroom communication was at an all time low….working through the disconnect actually made you guys closer! Orgasms for everyone! No more ooch ooch ouch!✌? There’s a new rhythm method in place and your Doggy Style is under new management much like your out of the bedroom communication! 1. THE FACE DOWN…ASS UP! Yasss?? Child when y’all get to this style…you not only love the Doggy Style but you are requesting it day and night! You and your partner are so in sync that you have not only perfected the position but you have added new twists to it that brings you both extreme pleasure. He now knows (per your instructions and moans) when to thrust in deeper and when to stay at a certain level to bring you ecstasy! ?????? You two are not just in it for your own orgasms but you are also in it to please each other. COMMUNICATION TRANSLATION: your communication has greatly improved outside of the bedroom and that has translated into an orgasmic experience in the bedroom. This is a place where there is no faking orgasms nor pretending something feels good when it doesn’t! You guys have worked so hard to get to this point that you only want to share this experience with each other! I think this position is even more rewarding when there has been some rough patches in your relationship. This is the fruit of your labor! Enjoy every bite! ? ~KJM on Hump Day. The longer you are with someone is the more you may experience one or all of these “communication styles.” Last week…the Ex Factor and I made it back to “The Back That Ass Up” Doggy Style position! ?? It’s taken us years to get back here. It remains to be seen though if we will ever make it to the “Face Down…Ass Up.” That’s where the real work lies. Hump often, hump safely, and hump with care and consideration.
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