Times I Should Have Taken The High Road But Instead Found Myself Chilling On The Low Road (The Anger Management Edition)

My official dating life started when I was almost 16 years old. I met my first love, Julio, and it was a wrap. Love at first sight had taken over my life. What I did not foresee, however, were the highs and lows of dating. I did not know that under this calm, cool, and collected skin…was an angry bitch! Not only would I get angry but I had this bad habit of letting dudes know in the middle of the night. First it was with 2am phone calls, then handwritten letters mailed to his mama’s house, then it was through email, then through instant messaging (AIM), and the worst of them all, these motherfuckers created…TEXT MESSAGES! Ugh. I never threatened anyone but I always reminded them that they were getting their annual “you ain’t shit reminder” brought to them by…ME! Ugh again! 
 
Looking back, there were so many times I regretted not taking the high road in relationships. But fuck it…I would be lying if I didn’t admit…there were also times it felt fucking great to tell a “aint shit dude” where to go! LOL. Seriously though, if you want to one day be a good spouse for someone, you have to learn to control your emotions. 2015 was the year I mastered this lesson despite having two personalities (I am a Gemini). Here are some of the times I should have taken the high road but instead found myself chilling on the low road (unhappily):
 
7. THE TIME HE IGNORED ME! I do not know why guys do this…but sometimes they ignore us and leave us feeling like we did something wrong. At first, I am worried about him but as time goes on my other personality starts to ask…I know he isn’t trying to play us? From there I start crying, then I get mad that he made me cry, and before you know it, I am sending him a full blown fuck you email! Yikes! The issue with this is…we have no clue why they are ignoring us. His grandmother could have just died! Fuck My Life! How I Could Have Taken The High Road: Be patient and wait for him to reach out to you. Something terrible could have seriously happened and you could have just added to it. Patience, while I hate it, is needed in any good relationship. Not to mention…we have to check our egos because as you may know…not everything is about you boo!
 
6. THE TIME HE DID NOT COMMUNICATE IN A MANNER I FOUND ACCEPTABLE! Women and men really do communicate differently. That difference in communication can be so challenging in our relationships. We pour our hearts out to men and they respond the best they can. Sometimes, however, their response pisses us the fuck off. For example, I loathe when I send a guy I am dating a long text message about my stressful day and he hits me with a response like “OK!” He did not even take the time to spell out “OKAY” and I just lose it! Like was he even listening?! How I Could Have Taken The High Road: According to my brother, Junior, men sometimes do not know what to say to a woman but know they need to respond. If they can’t fix our problem, they feel helpless and that sometimes produces the lackluster responses we receive from them. Best thing to do in this situation is to communicate explicitly with your man what you want and need from him. Expecting him to be a mind reader will have you slashing his tires before daybreak! Girlfriend…don’t do it!
 
5. THE TIME I GOT JEALOUS! The ex factor is almost 7 feet tall. Whenever we went out…men and women would stop, stare, and speak to him. It use to piss me off when he would hug female friends in front of me. Like why the fuck did he have to put his entire body into that hug?! Once again…I would lose it or would be silently plotting his death once she walked away. Just kidding here but you know what I mean. How I Could Have Taken The High Road: Understand that both you and your man will have people of the opposite sex in your lives. If he is a good man…he will only want you. Not to mention, you should tackle issues as soon as they arise unless your current location is not the time nor place for that discussion. Waiting until 2am to call him up and cuss him out is…kind of crazy especially if the incident happened last month. 🙁
 
4. THE TIME I COULD NOT LET GO OF THE PAST! I have this bad habit of not being able to let go of the past and I know exactly where I got it from….the Michaels! As long as I have known my parents, my dad always brings up 1978 (the year he met my mother) in a bad way and each parent focuses on what the other did in the past. They don’t just stop there….they also take it to what their families did. According to Mama Michaels, my dad’s family whored around and Papa Michaels claps back with the fact that my mom’s mom worships the devil (probably some evidence of the truth here). 1978 must have been a rough year! If you, like the Michaels family, are struggling with letting go of past hurts in your relationship while working to rebuild it…angry emails, phone calls, and texts about the past sure won’t help! How I Could Have Taken The High Road: First off, I want you to get a look of yourself. Yea you! If you choose to move forward in your relationship after promising to forgive, you sure look stupid texting that you think he got issues because his mama was a pimp! Catch yourself and realize that it is either you guys start from scratch or you let the relationship go. Do not make yourself crazy with continuously reliving past hurts! I am not even going to lie…I am still a work in progress when it comes to this lesson. But to the Michaels family…1978 was a long fucking time ago! Forgive the pimp and the devil worshipper and move forward with love in your hearts!
 
 
3. THE TIME HE CHEATED! I can just picture you “digging your keys into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive” and singing Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.” Girlfriend….don’t do it! We have all been there. No need to go into stalker mode! Just move on! How I Could Have Taken The High Road: Just leave him alone. There is a crime called communicating threats. Don’t write, call, text, nor email. Just run and go get yourself checked out by a physician. 
 
2. THE TIME I SAID “I LOVE YOU” FIRST AND HE SAID WELL…NOTHING! Now this one really pisses me off. Makes me want to bust the windows out his car! Just kidding once again! One of the worst feelings ever is to be vulnerable and open up yourself to someone you love and them not return that love. Either he doesn’t love you or he is not ready to say it. Whatever the reason is…we get hurt and our egos step in! And so the 4am nasty text messages begin…as if that is going to make him say “I Love You” faster! How I Could Have Taken The High Road: Best thing to do here is to first be easy of yourself. You are human and it is an awesome feeling to love. It sucks that he may not return that love but just know that one day the right man will. Cry it out if need be but whatever you do…put the phone down! If there is a slim chance that he may love you but is not ready to say it…you will surely blow it if you send a “you ain’t shit” text message in the middle of the night!
 
1. WHEN HE BROKE UP WITH ME! No one likes being broken up with. It is a shitty feeling. I’ve dealt with breakups in two ways: cry over the phone or cuss his ass out. The latter is my favorite. Cussing him out at 4am through text messages is just going to reaffirm his decision to dump you! How I Could Have Taken The High Road: What I should have done was: cry it out, talk with my friends about it, start going out again, and just enjoy my new single life. If you were a good woman…he will not only miss you…but he will probably be begging for you to take him back. No need to lose your cool. Hold your head up high and continue to take the high road. Sewer rats eventually come up to the surface…meaning you are sure to hear from him again if you were good to him!
 
~KJM on Temptation Tuesday saying “you got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them!” Take the high road at all times and you will not only like yourself more but have healthier relationships.