Now before I get into the quality of the “trout” I want to be completely honest with you. This is one topic I am bias in (I just think most women are amazing and these men are tripping) but because I have some pretty nice male friends and associates…I am willing to explore my bias. I always think that EVERYTHING (including dating) is easier for men! I mean come on! There is always some woman ready to sacrifice her soul for a man! ??♀️ Men are typically the first to move on from a break up and have a new chick on arm.?? So when I hear single professional “seemingly sane” men complaining that they are having a hard time meeting great women I just roll my eyes. ? I generally think they are probably selfish narcissists who have put many women through hell in their present AND past lives! ???✌? But I digress. Because I do have many amazing male friends, like my BFF, Zack, who is happily married…I’m willing to cross over into the jungle of single men and try to see some things from their point of view. The few conversations I was able to have in detail last week were intense! Yo! I forgot men have feelings! Shout out to my numb boo! Love you Ex Factor! ?? There are some dudes who are eager to care about some woman out there! ? Here are some of complaints that I continuously heard from single men: (1) too many women live their lives like they are reality stars, (2) women do not want to work ? (3) unfaithful women (I’m well aware that more women cheat than society thinks), (4) dishonest women, (5) financially irresponsible women (no smart man wants a woman who can only blow his money and not build on it), (6) women only want men that make a certain amount of money, and (7) women really do not want what they say they want (mainly chasing the wrong kind of dudes). Okay, I am willing to admit that the men have some points here but I just don’t know…maybe because I am a woman I think that the women they are describing are rare and that these men may be only going after the same types of women. Here is my top 5 recommendations to single successful responsible men ready to commit to a good woman: 5. YOU ALWAYS FALL FOR THE SAME TYPE: my men have some similarities but in general besides their birth sign (damn Sagittarius??) they are quite different. Meaning each of the relationships failed for unique reasons. Guys, if you always seem to meet a hot gold digger….perhaps that is who you truly want? I’m not gonna lie…I love my men hot (though not prettier than me ? cause then they would be straight trouble lol), tall, athletic, black or brown, and educated! Over the years though, I have definitely dated outside of some of my preferences minus the black or brown thing. That seems to be one of my dealbreakers. LOVE MY BROTHERS! ? I have dated leprechauns, unattractive men, non Sagittarius men (which turns out to be an even bigger mistake lol), and guys without a formal education. Shout out to my good with their hands guys (pun intended)! ? But I digress. Guys, are you going after the same type? If so…switch it up. 4. THE PLACES YOU MEET WOMEN! If you are always meeting your women in a bar or club you may want to go elsewhere. ?? Nothing wrong with these places as I know many couples who got married after meeting in such a setting but if you are looking for a religious woman…and that is a dealbreaker for you…the club isn’t going to be the place to find her unless you like looking for a needle in a haystack! ?? While there is no perfect place to meet someone that will guarantee forever bliss…it’s good to keep your eyes open everywhere. Don’t overlook the sexy librarian! Lol. That brings me to… 3. PAY ATTENTION! Single men, there are probably so many women trying to get your attention but because they may not be your “type” you are missing out or you are all the way slipping by not paying attention to their cues. Now I’m a direct woman. I do not flirt…ever!!! When I want a man…I flat out say it. Eight years ago, I slide into the Ex Factor’s DM and told him…I WANT YOU! ?? No mix signals there. Some women are hunters but most aren’t! 98% of women won’t be this direct because they think it’s chasing a man! But it’s not. I give the GREEN light that I am interested and it’s up to the man to close the deal. And that’s just what the Ex Factor did! My pussy is NEVER included in the hunt. No judgement here. Just the way I roll. Fellas, most women will flirt (if interested) and the flirting may not be in a sexual manner. She may be your neighbor who is constantly asking you to fix stuff even though your Landlord is responsible for that stuff! When in doubt….just ask her! Pay attention and the universe may just bless you with a good woman! 2. SINGLE MOMS! Lately, there has been a lot of discussions on social media about how single dads feel they are entitled to swim in the young single woman with no children pool but single moms are highly discriminated against and are considered damaged! ???? A man with children is a dealbreaker for me! ✌? Everyone is entitled to their personal preferences. However, some of the good women that you guys seem to be missing may be single moms pond! If you are a good single man with a big heart that wants a family someday…please do not ignore the single moms pool! These types of women most likely know how to commit and raise a child. Single moms are typically serious about dating. They have no time for senseless and pointless bed hopping for they have children to raise! ?? I know this is not the ideal situation and that it may not be your preference but you can tell a lot about a woman by how she raises her child! I would say the same about single dads but most women ignore the fact of whether the single dad is a good dad to a child he has with another woman. For example, Ciara and Future! Everything she needed to know about Future was written in his past with his numerous baby mamas! And everything her current husband, Russell, saw in Ciara was probably written in the present of how she raised her child! They are now a happily married blended family! Of course there are exceptions to the rule but parenting can tell a lot about a person. 1. ARE YOU REALLY READY FOR A GOOD WOMAN? I am the queen of asking for stuff I am not truly ready for just because they are not currently being offered to me! ??♀️ So no judgement on this one. Just more of a mental exercise. Do you really want a good woman or are you still chasing the bag girls? Is physical attraction the number one trait that you look for in a woman? Does she need to be runway model size? Let’s get even deeper. Are you healed from your past hurts…childhood and romantic relationships? If not, are you working on your stuff? In counseling? Are you hell bent on making all women pay for one woman’s mistakes? I have to ask these questions because society is highly critical of women and not men! A man can walk around with a huge pot belly and five kids and still think he is entitled to every single non child having successful beautiful woman! ???♀️? Society does not allow women to be this delusional! Women, for the most part, are very careful and strategic about where we “shoot our shot!” ?? Men, however, are taught to aim their sperm anywhere towards any woman. They are always encouraged to “shoot their shot” even if they are not mentally, financially, physically or emotionally ready. ?????♀️ It is still a man’s world (don’t know why ??♀️) but that shit still ain’t nothing without a woman! ?? That is…if you are a straight man but I digress. Lol. BONUS: if none of these things apply to you…maybe it is just not your time yet. Society tells that to women all the time! Ugh…it’s frustrating for sure. Just keep being the great guy you are and stay open to unexpected blessings! ? ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday. We all need to be in fucking therapy! Lol.
The Trout Must Be Thrown Back Into The Sea: A Glimpse Of What Some Single Men Think About The Single Women’s Market
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