Every now and then one of my sexually repressed friends/associates will mention that a friend of theirs recently asked them for some advice about sex. ?? I stop dead in my tracks every time…because like…the blind cannot lead the blind! ?? Lets back it up for a moment. When I use the phrase “sexually repressed” I am speaking of a woman where missionary is about the only thing on her agenda…once every six months…naturally. Not referring to anyone who has had sexual trauma or is just out of the game right now because they are taking a break from sex. I’m speaking of that woman or man who grew up thinking sex is taboo and only for reproduction purposes. There are such people. For example, I know some folks who think if a woman sleeps with more than one man…she’s a whore. ?✌?I feel really bad for women…especially…who view other women in this way. A woman with this type of view is definitely having bad sex with her probably cheating husband somewhere! ? Sex is a beautiful thing and as long as two consenting adults are participating in it…what they do is none of my business! ✌? Then there’s the sexually repressed woman who not only thinks that the number of sexual partners a woman has dictates that woman’s level of whoreness ? (got to start making up words for this level of ridiculousness) but also thinks the types of sexual acts a woman performs makes her a whore too! ??✌?I have a few friends like this. They cringe when certain topics come up. That brings me to this week’s cringe worthy topic….the Toss Salad. ? Gabrielle Union just dropped her book “we’re going to need more wine” in which she discusses many personal topics like loving to give her man a nice Toss Salad! ? While I haven’t read the book, I can tell you that this kind of openness sent sexually repressed black women all over into a state of chaos! ? A black woman is being open about her sexual preferences…and she’s not discussing the missionary position!??? I’m sure there is about to be a sermon at some black churches on the sins of the Toss Salad! ?Like…I can’t deal! Lol. Pastor says…like don’t be a Gabrielle Union! ?? But I digress. You guys already know my position on the Toss Salad. While I would never order a man to do it to me, it’s fucking amazing when it’s done right! I found that out from the brief time period that I dated Mister Toss Salad. ?? Now I don’t know much about the Toss Salad but I know enough to know that Mister Toss Salad’s main course was knowing how to eat pussy right and toss an unforgettable salad! That dude probably been tossing salads for over a decade now! Certified…with awards! ??? That’s how good his skills were! And they had to be because he’s the one I have never seen his penis. Felt that tiny odd shaped thing in my hand and vowed never to stare it in its face! ✌???? But I digress again. So I wouldn’t order a Toss Salad and I damn sure am not giving one because who can trust any man to properly wash their ass as well as MOST (not all ?) women do?! ??I mean when I’m washing my ass…I get all in it with my wash cloth. I don’t want no streaks nor shit chips flying…but dudes just don’t care!!!! ? So power to Gabrielle for being able to trust her man like that. I’m already challenged in the blow job area so I don’t even know if I could ace the tossing of my boo’s salad…cause y’all know that the Ex Factor is the only man I would experiment like that with….and he’s more closed off to certain things than I am! I’m still trying to talk him into period sex because I don’t like going a week without him inside of me and my period is extra short and light (always has been) but it’s still a no for him. ?? If we ever get married though, I hope we would spend a lifetime loving and exploring each other’s bodies. ? No matter what folks say…that missionary position just can’t take two people into a lifetime of sexual happiness! ? So what should you get from all of this? Skip asking yourself sexually repressed friend for sex advice and go buy Gabby’s book! ?? Well the first part is real advice and the second part is a suggestion. Lol. Sex, whether you are having it or not, is always going to be a big topic in relationships. Do what’s comfortable for you and your partner. And do not be afraid to explore! If it feels good to ya…chances are it’s good for ya…well at least in the bedroom (as two consenting adults). Be open and don’t let your dried up friends lead you astray when it comes to sexual pleasure! I say toss a salad or don’t toss a salad…that is the question! And it’s your right to answer it how you feel!!! Sex is a form of expression and communication! Just make sure you and your partner are on the same safe page! ?? ~KJM on Hump Day! If you have been tossing a salad and have any tips for my readers please leave a comment…anonymously if you like. I have a feeling we aren’t done with this topic. Lol. Next up will probably be pegging or planking…and I am damn sure not referring to the exercises! ? Happy Humping! Editor’s Note: If you are a victim of sexual abuse and/or assault, please go speak with a licensed sex therapist when trying to rebuild your consenting sexual relationships. This is also true if you suffer from depression! Today’s blog was not geared towards those with real sexual issues. It was really calling out the judgmental sexually repressed friends most of us have! One love?
They better get the book so they can challenge themselves to open up more on more than just sex in the bedroom. Its time out for women being ashamed to want to have sex, for asking for sex especially if they are with one partner. This makes no sense.