Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and whether you celebrate it or not….there’s one undeniable truth…many of us are just hanging by the hair of our “chinny chin chins” in bad relationships or know someone who is! In previous blogs, I’ve described men we all need to stay away from….like the cheater and the abuser. This blog, however, focuses on the relationships where nothing seems wrong at first glance but nothing feels right either. You are in a state of mediocrity. We’ve all been there though some of y’all even married that mediocre man. Here are some reasons why we didn’t want to dump him and tried to settle for mediocrity:
8. HE CAN COOK HIS ASS OFF! Contrary to popular belief, food is also a good way to a woman’s heart! I choose not to cook so when I meet a man who can…well let’s just say breaking up is hard to do…over some jerk chicken and rice! Meal after meal though…it occurs to me that he has to go! So 15 gained pounds later…I break it off…right after eating a juicy well done steak with potatoes?
7. WE JUST WANT TO AVOID HAVING TO BREAK UP WITH HIM! Tiffany once dated a guy she met online for months because she just didn’t have the heart to break up with him. Crazy thing is she hated going on dates with him and would cringe every time she received a text from him. In his mind, he thought he found his wife. What he really found was someone that was just trying to be nice and tolerate him. It’s all a waste of time if you ask me. Just dump him and move on. You both deserve the opportunity to find someone who loves you. Set that mediocre man free!
6. HE HAS MONEY! I’ve heard this one before and I get confused. Financial stability is important in a relationship but can you have sex with, give birth to, and raise his money?! There’s a cost for everything in life so if you see dollar signs just remember it may be coming from Satan…in gasoline draws…waiting to drag your ass to hell… disguised as financial stability!
5. WE LOVE HIS FAMILY! There’s nothing like dating a man with a wonderful family but at the end of the day you are not marrying nor dating his family. Behind closed doors, it’s just you and him. Break up with this mediocre man! His family is meant to be in laws for another woman. I know you are going to miss his mama’s baked mac and cheese on Sundays but it’s for the best. Get that recipe though before you break things off!✌?
4. HE IS DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB RAISING YOUR CHILDREN (WHO ARE NOT HIS)! Ugh. This one is difficult. I believe every child deserves a positive father figure but if you know you are going to cheat on him because he is not a good fit for you but is great with your kids…let this mediocre man go! In the long run, you are just going to hurt all parties involved. If he’s a good man, you are blocking his blessings and if you are blocking his blessings that means you are also blocking yours! The truth will set you free! Give yourself and your children a chance at true and everlasting love from a man who you want to be permanently invested in!
3. HE DOES EVERYTHING WE ASK HIM TO! Well what are you doing for him? You are just wasting his time and it’s just not a good look. Don’t be a user! Remember KARMA is a bitch! What goes around always comes back around so break it off now!
2. WE DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE! Yikes! I’ve heard this one the most. Being alone can be tough at times but just allowing someone to take up space in your mind, body, and spirit is draining. Save all that care and good sex for your future spouse! When you waste his time, you waste yours too…and then alone is for sure right around the corner anyways! Learn to love your alone time while you have it. Speed date if need be but avoid getting serious with someone you know deep down inside isn’t the right one for you. Time to have that conversation with yourself first and then him.
1. HE GIVES A GOOD TOSSED SALAD! Now you know I love a good tossed salad! Lol. But seriously, we can’t date a man for a long period of time because he eats our ass well and/or puts it down in the bedroom! I really want to give you the green light on this one but it’s just not right. I’m hoping and praying he doesn’t eat every woman’s ass…which means he’s probably serious about you. Don’t give him false hope…only to climax and not even want to call him back later. Break it off! Well maybe allow him to toss your salad one more time and then break it off ? ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying you should have dumped him long ago!
I must say, “HE IS DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB RAISING YOUR CHILDREN (WHO ARE NOT HIS)” is a big one!! Most men won’t even consider a long term relationship with a woman with a child. So, I can see why it’s difficult to let go. And, I have a cousin who was trapped by “WE LOVE HIS FAMILY!” Even after she finally bit the bullet and called it quits, his sister still calls her her sister and her mom still invites her to family functions!!
I’ve to admit…those are two good reasons to hang on initially. But if the possibility of love is not there…all parties will suffer a huge loss. Things get more and more difficult over time…