This week I’ve caused quite an uproar with writing the blogs “Dear Girlfriend (The Fall of Phoenix)” and “The Aftermath of Dear Girlfriend!” The long term girlfriends around the world got their guns cocked and pointed in my direction! Lol. Whether you agree or disagree with my stance, I appreciate the exposure! Being a blogger isn’t an easy life and this was my first time being thrown into the lion’s den! I’m ready though and not backing down!?? Now to the real issue at hand with these series of blogs: the long term girlfriend is now the new side piece! Before I get into my countdown, I want to say that I’ve been in this position before. I’m speaking from a messy place I’ve once lived and passing on the painful lessons I’ve learned along the way. You can take it or leave it. My only goal here is to give you food for thought! Disclaimer: If you and your partner do not believe in marriage then this blog isn’t for you. It’s really for all them laying on their backs, constantly on their knees but never getting a thank you, waiting for a man to realize their worth long term girlfriends! Ok let’s get it! Here are 7 reasons why the long term girlfriend is now the new side piece: 7. HE NEVER MENTIONS A FUTURE WITH YOU! If you are 25 or older and have been seriously dating a man for 5 years or more yet he has never mentioned you in any of his future plans….you are the side piece! That man is keeping his options open until something better comes along! 6. WHEN HE CHEATS IT’S THE OTHER WOMAN YOU ARE MAD AT! My mother, Mama Michaels, always says never call another woman about a man that is NOT YOUR HUSBAND! It’s seriously a joke. With no one married to him, how do you know who is the side piece and who is the real girlfriend? Better yet why are you even focusing on the title girlfriend? You are a side piece! 5. THE ONLY REAL RELATIONSHIP STATUSES THAT THE IRS RECOGNIZES ARE SINGLE (AS IN NOT MARRIED), MARRIED, and DIVORCED! Uncle Sam aka the Internal Revenue Services does not have a box for girlfriends. If you want the government to recognize your relationship, you better aim for marriage! They sure give tax breaks for that! Especially now that everyone has the right to marry (gay and straight), “If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it” is about to be the new tax law anthem! Don’t expect a refund for having a boyfriend! Just go ahead and check that single status box while you pray for God’s blessings! No time to be delusional! You are a side piece! 4. YOU PAY HALF HIS MORTGAGE BUT YOUR NAME AIN’T ON SHIT! If he bought a house while you guys were dating or he owned one before and you two are now living together….guess who has no legal rights to that property?! That’s right! YOU! Financially you are contributing, yet you will never see the fruit of your labor! Girl, run! If you were a wife, this would be a different story. This long term girlfriend thing is really messing with your money! Sigh…need I remind you again that you are a side piece?! 3. YOU ARE HIS BABY MAMA! As the mother of his child, you are entitled to child support for that child. That man is not indebted to you for shit. Courts recognize your child, not that you are his long term girlfriend. No one cares if he is good to you. The focus is really on your child. Some of y’all baby mamas don’t get that and use the child against the man long after he kicks your ass to the curb! You are the side piece! No spousal support for that! 2. HIS MAMA, FRIENDS, AND ASSOCIATES REFER TO YOU AS MS. SO AND SO! Girl, I don’t know why you are mad?! That is your name right? MS. not MRS?! Truth hurts boo. Even if everyone in his circle knows who you are…it doesn’t mean that you are being held out to be anything but a long term side piece! If he is introducing you to his pastor as MS. for the last 10 years…forget it! Every time you walk away, pastor laying hands on him and praying that he find himself a good woman that he can make a wife! Lawd a mercy…you a side piece even in the eyes of GOD! ? 1. YOU HAVE BEEN “ENGAGED” FOR TWO YEARS OR MORE WITH NO WEDDING DATE SET! Now this one is a tricky one. I’m guessing you been whining the last 10 years so he finally purchased a ring for you and asked you to marry him….but that was 5 years ago and that ring is now turning green on your finger! You are still the glorified side piece! If he truly wanted to make that commitment, he would have! ~KJM on Flashback Friday! Disclaimer: this blog is for entertainment purposes only and no true legal advice was given. If you have questions about common law marriage, tax laws, or property laws in your state, seek counsel there. Best wishes on all of your journeys!
yes me and my husband have had these debates all the time. I would be trying to give wife trinkets to a unmarried man (when we weren’t married). He would take them who wouldn’t but that sting in when he would go and see whomeverlse was a hurt piece and one i wasnt willing to deal with. So we committed to each other and in less than a full year we were engaged in marriage counseling and then married. Folks better take heed. stop wondering why you are only a trophy on a shelf that gets dusted off every now and again.
I love when wives write in! It’s a time where I get to gain wisdom and knowledge from the other side. I was headed in the long term girlfriend direction in my last “situationship.” And while it was a painful lesson to learn…it was a valuable one! Thanks for sharing your story!
KJM, I enjoy reading your articles on a daily basis. You keep things real. I’m now happily married. This article was such an eye opener. It reminded me of a guy I dated for 2 years who was not into settling down but he wanted me to move in with him and help him pay his mortgage. I declined immediately and laughed at his request. I said to him, “so you want me to lie on my back and get on my knees and pay you for it”? I’m so glad and thankful I got out of that deadbeat relationship and now with my husband whose a complete gentleman and provides for our family to the point where I’m aware of all our monthly bills but not responsible for paying a single one. There is happiness after crappy relationships, I’m a testament. Women, don’t settle, know your worth!
Thank you for sharing your story Willow! You give me hope! Have a blessed day! KJM