The Good Guy (How Youth Teaches Us To Be Stupid Edition)

So I’m still in the process of unpacking my life…figuratively and literally. Yesterday, I found an old photo album filled with pictures from my last year in college! ? I could not stop laughing and smiling. Those memories brought me so much joy…so much so that I uploaded some of them to my private Facebook (after using my iPhone to take a photo of a photo…God bless Kodak cameras from back in the day!). My friends and I all laughed at how happy and silly we were. One photograph in particular struck my heart with joy..it was of me and my college sweetheart, Jason, kissing at the exact minute it turned the New Year into 2003! ? One of my homegirls had snuck in with me into the hotel where he and his entire football team were staying the night before Penn State’s bowl game! We ended up spending the night…5 of us in a room. The women (my boo’s roomie had his girl with him too so it was 3 of us women) hiding when the coaches came to do a room check! ??? It was simply the best time I’ve ever had in Orlando, Florida! ?????? While Jason and I were never in love…what we had from 2002-early 2005 was magical. He’s truly the only good guy I’ve ever dated. Jason believed in romance and he showed it. He was the first guy to make me LOVE cuddling and really the only guy that it felt natural laying in his arms. ? His word was always his bond and he believed in coming for me…no matter what state I was in. He’s the only guy to make such huge gestures! I mean he wasn’t perfect…no one is but when he did things…he did it big. For example, when we were dating everyone knew it including the entire Penn State Football team. If someone saw me out without him and I was drinking…one of his teammates (especially his roomie) would make sure I got home safely. Jason always held my hands, he waited patiently for months for me to be ready to have sex…while holding me every night…all through the night…and when we finally did it…I named him my most passionate lover. The way he kissed me…held me…I’ve never experienced that since. I know what you are wondering…if he was so great what went wrong?! Jason and I met in Spanish 3 Class in Fall of 2001. I had already been sleeping with Crazy at the time. At first sight, Jason looked like he ran track but I later found out that he was a wide receiver for Penn State’s Football Team. He was a year younger than me and a damn Sagittarius (like all my other long term men). Jason was humble and cool for someone who was part of a team that were treated like gods. Football and school were his life. Jason wasn’t a party dude and he is actually the person that got me to love the Hallmark Channel. His tenderness mixed with his strength was fucking impressive. Then there’s me…bad girl for life! ?? Jason was a quiet homebody and I was wild and loud! No one understood what we saw in each other. But when we were alone, Jason talked a lot. And when things were good with him (which was most of our dating life except two brief times) I felt so secure and loved even though we weren’t in love. Fall 2001, Jason and I became Spanish 3 oral partners. It sounds nasty but it was for school except when I accidentally told him I wanted to fuck in his bed (in Spanish). ??? Even then we never dated because I was still kicking it with Crazy. Spring 2002, Crazy started running the streets and sleeping with every bitch he saw. As I pressured him to be more serious (can’t turn a hoe into a househusband), it was obvious Crazy and I were going to have to go our separate ways. That day came and it just so happens that I was in the HUB (Penn Staters get what this is) with one of my homeboys and Jason was passing by. I told him to CALL me on a personal tip because I was looking for a new man! And so he did! My homeboy was dying with laughter at my boldness! ?? I miss that brave and sexy Kingston! ? Crazy broke up with me at 3:30pm that same afternoon and Jason was over my place by 6:30pm! ?????? That’s what you call PIMPING! ?? Crazy called later that night wanting to stop by to talk when he saw my homegirls at the club and I wasn’t with them. That bitch thought I was home crying! NOPE! I let Crazy know that my new man was over and we both would not appreciate his visit! ✌?Lmfao. Jason held me for months! We just cuddled and kissed and held hands. He had also just gotten out of a bad relationship shortly before dating me so I think we both needed to take it slow. And so he continued to HOLD ME as Crazy tried to fight his way back into my life. I think this is why neither Jason nor I could fall in love with each other. Too much baggage and pain from our exes. But we enjoyed each other sexually and outside the bedroom. I laughed the most with him. Jason was from the West Coast so he had a type of flava I had never seen in a guy before. He made those Hawaiian shirts look good. And through sex I fattened his ass…through climax after climax…where that skinny guy I met the year before was now built like a Black Greek god (he was half African, half European). Sexy as shit. All the women after me…should be thanking my ass! I left him in damn good condition! ?? While Jason was so good to me…I wasn’t always so good to him (unbeknownst to him). I had slip up after slip up with Crazy. For a second, I thought I was in love with two guys. Truth was…I was in LUST with both. When the shit hit the fan though…I surprisingly chose Jason. And it was an easy choice at that…because he was loyal and kind. He deserved the same from me. So I tried. But when you had never been treated well by a guy it’s hard to meet a good guy. They don’t seem real but good guys are out there! That’s what Jason represents…HOPE TO MEET ANOTHER GREAT GUY! ?? So I’m keeping hope alive with this great memory in my heart. I was respected by the guy I dated and cared for privately and publicly! My standards were high once! Don’t know how they had drop so low since! ? Sometimes I feel like the Ex Factor is my KARMA for all the wrong I did in my Jason relationship. Well I have paid my fucking dues!!!! Time for someone better! Last I heard of Jason (I stayed friends with him until 2012), he had met the love of his life (on the West Coast) and they bought a house together. I pray they are both treating each other well and living in love to the fullest. The Jason I knew deserves nothing less. I wish them nothing but the best! As for me, I am so grateful for the memories of Jason…picking me up when I fell asleep in odd places and placing me in the bed with no expectations of sex…opening all doors (including car doors) for me even when no one was around for all the years we dated! ?? Clearly a real man raised him! And I thank him for being the only man to travel for me…from PA to meet me and my family in NJ to MD (where I was living after college), then to head back to PA again…all in a 3 day span! We weren’t in love but I felt more loved than I ever did with any other guy that claimed to love me. I thank you for my happy times Jason and for all the years of friendship! I let go of our friendship so you could be truly happy and I sure hope you are! ~KJM on Charm School Monday. Editor’s Note: Youth teaches us that time is on our side and that there are more great people to meet in life but silly rabbit…tricks are for kids. It’s been 16 years since I first met Jason and I’ve never met anyone even close to being as great as him…..