These are true events as I know it. As you read this, keep in mind I can’t make this shit up if I tried! I lived it and I’m still in disbelief it all happened. Below is the story of Jonathan aka The Great Apologizer, the first guy to ever cheat on me. After my first year at Penn State, Julio and I broke up. He was my first love but it just wasn’t working so after over 3 years of seriously dating…we went our separate ways (for now). The summer of my 19th birthday, I decided to finally give Jonathan a chance to date me. I met Jonathan my freshman year of high school. He was the best friend of my childhood best friend’s, Faith, boyfriend Carl. Wow that’s a lot to swallow! Recap: I have known Faith for 30 years. We met in kindergarten and are still friends to this day! She instantly fell in love with Carl at a barbecue our Freshman year of high school. Jonathan was Carl’s best friend and about two years older than Faith and I. Are you following now? Good! When Jonathan first approached me, I had never dated anyone before. 1995 was the year I wasn’t into light skinned guys so I told Jonathan to beat it but he always kept in touch since our best friends were dating. Don’t worry, I went on to date all types of men no matter their complexion but you have to admit….what’s sweeter than dark chocolate?! Not a damn thing! Yum. Lol. But I digress. Once Julio and I broke up, Jonathan didn’t waste any time asking me out…and I finally accepted. It was a world wind romance. His personality was more easy going and like-able than Julio’s so I brought Jonathan to all family and friend events in summer 2000. Everyone loved him! I wasn’t in love but he was such a great and attentive boyfriend (and the only guy I’ve ever spent my birthday with) that I felt like love could come in a couple of years. After all, I was never quick to give my heart. In the midst of our summer, Jonathan had to go to Cuba for 2 weeks on some save the world mission! Don’t ask me the details of how the hell he was getting into Cuba at that time but I don’t think the group he was going with were directly traveling from the US. I didn’t want him to go! Jonathan was so good to me. He took me on the best dates, cooked for me, and pampered the hell out of me in a way Julio never did and never would. But my man had a mission to help bring peace to the world and so I had to support it. When he was leaving, I gave him a picture of me and one of my thongs for him to get through those two weeks without me easily. Little did I know, he would have no problem living out his days in Cuba…filled with passion. To help the time pass quickly while Jonathan was away, my aunt, Jennifer, asked me to drive to Atlantic City with her to pick up tickets for a trip she won. I didn’t think much of her request since at that time, she was the aunt I was the closest to. Once in Atlantic City, we had to wait a few hours to pick up my aunt’s plane tickets so she suggested we go on the boardwalk and hang out. Let me preface this by saying, I had heard rumors in my family that my aunt Jennifer believed in black magic but in the Michaels house, we had always been a God fearing family and I figured since my mother was Jennifer’s older sister, there had to be some mixup in what her faith was. Aunt Jennifer suggested we go into this mother/daughter fortune telling shop. I was hesitant and told her my faith tells me not to believe in such things. Aunt Jennifer told me it was for entertainment purposes only and since I couldn’t gamble, it was a fun way to pass the time. Me being 19, naive, and trusting of my aunt, decided to go in and get a reading with her. I pray God has forgiven me because what happened next I could never have foreseen. The daughter fortune teller took me in one room and the mother took my aunt in another. I was nervous but was careful never to give any information to the daughter. She predicted my future occupation (which she was right to an extent), what my weakness in life was, and told me some things about my family. Still in my mind, I felt this is just entertainment so maybe she just got lucky with the things she said. Here’s where things got creepy: the daughter fortune teller told me I was dating a guy who was currently on an island….only he was on the island with his ex girlfriend and was cheating on me! She gave me his initial (J) and the ex girlfriend’s (W). She told me our relationship would never work out because J would spend his life chasing W. Also, she told me that W was not my same race. Chills went up and down my spine but I still reminded myself that this had to be all coincidental! After all, Jonathan was in Cuba saving the world! Before the daughter fortune teller could finish my reading, I heard my aunt Jennifer cursing out the mother fortune teller and could hear my aunt flipping the table over in the next room! Needless to say we left in a hurry and my aunt never did explain what happened in her reading to get her so angry. I put all I had heard behind me and life went on. Two weeks later when Jonathan came back from Cuba, he didn’t call me. Instead he went to the movies with Faith and Carl his first night back. After a few calls and beeps (yea beepers were in back then!), Jonathan returned my call and I only saw him once again that summer. Something was off and he was distant. He stopped returning my calls and beeps and then I went back to Penn State for my sophomore year. I beeped him once at Penn State with one of my friends from DC’s number. He called back and when he found out it was me, he apologized for how our relationship ended but would not tell me why such a happy couple got so distant so quickly. I would not see nor hear from Jonathan again until the following summer when Faith had an aneurysm that nearly killed her! Summer 2001, while we took turns car pooling to visit Faith in the ICU at a hospital in NYC, Jonathan tried to win me back. From that point on, I friend zoned him and continued with my life. Tragedy made it so we had to work together but that didn’t mean I had to date such a shady person again! One day I was on the bus and I ran into one of Jonathan’s neighbors, Stacey. Stacey knew some of my cousins and went to high school with Jonathan. She told me their whole block was sad when Jonathan and I broke up and that she hoped he wasn’t still chasing “that dusty white girl, Wanita!” Once again, chills went up and down my spine but still I felt it all had to be a terrible coincidence! This all seemed ludicrous to me! I don’t believe in fortune tellers! So I moved on with my life as Jonathan stayed close over the years. From 2001-2010, Jonathan would call or text to tell me he loved me and wanted to make things work. I had permanently friend zoned him. On my second year in my graduate program, Jonathan called me and we stayed up all night talking about Faith and Carl. Faith never fully recovered and Carl couldn’t take it so he went into the military and moved away. Faith is paralyzed on one side of her body, can barely talk, and was never able to walk on her own again. It broke all our hearts. That’s what kept me in touch with Jonathan. He lived in the same town as Faith, so he could always go check on her while I was moving from state to state for school or work. That night we stayed up and talked about so much. Of course, Jonathan professed his love for me and I ignored him. Then something creepy happened: Jonathan told me that a year before Faith’s accident, her and Carl went to a fortune teller who told them a terrible accident would forever separate them! Jonathan claimed he did not believe in such things and the fortune teller was bogus. Suddenly all my memories of my reading from summer 2000 came back to me. The next morning I called Jonathan up and confronted him about what the fortune teller told me years ago. He confirmed all of it except he claimed he did not chase Wanita! I didn’t know what was worse….the fact Jonathan did cheat on me or the fact that 8 years later it was Jonathan’s word against the fortune teller and the dumb Motherfucker was too stupid to lie at this point! Come on now…it was his word against the fortune tellers! I would have lied and never admitted to the affair in order to preserve my current friendship with the person I claimed I loved! Maybe that’s just me! I was floored but still gave Jonathan the benefit of the doubt when it came to our friendship! We had not dated in over 9 years so how could I hold his transgressions against him in our friendship? Had I still been dating him….that would have been another story! This dude was stuck on stupid and nothing could help him. Embarrassed, Jonathan once again stopped picking up my phone calls even after I told him I forgave him for mistakes he made as a young adult. I finally gave up on the friendship and continued with my life. Of course, he continued to call or text once a year to tell me he loved me until, in 2010, I text him back to say he should lose my number and to “cease and desist” from ever contacting me again! The fucking nerve of him! 2010 was the last time I heard from the Great Apologizer! Can you believe the fortune teller told me that he cheated….and he admitted it?! What a way to get caught! Guess it’s true what they say…what’s done in the dark always comes into light…eventually! Wtf?! ~KJM laughing so hard on Temptation Tuesday! There’s one born every minute…a fool that is!
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