Happy Hump Day! Today I want to cover a topic I have personally never experienced but have had the “joy” of hearing about over the years…the dick pic! ? When smart phones became a huge thing…I don’t think Apple nor Droid intended to promote this little number! But low and behold…smart phones made it easy for some asshole guy to send some unsuspecting woman…a picture of his grotesque penis! I call it grotesque because I’ve never personally known a woman who welcomed receiving this little package in their inbox! For some crazy reason, guys tend to send dick pics at the beginning of dating a woman. But like why? Did she request to see it? If so, I’m sure she meant in person cause like what is the picture going to do for her?! Is this a form of free ADVERTISING? Or even worse…false advertising if said guy isn’t sending a picture of his actual penis but some other man’s? Hear me out…while that sounds creepy…the only way we are going to know if it’s really your penis is if we have already seen it or we match it up! But like who wants to play connect the dots with a penis? ? Does this shit get you guys laid faster? I am really trying to understand the origins of the dick pic. Like when did it start popping up? Prior to emails and picture messages, did guys just draw the penis and leave it on a girl’s desk?! Oh the horror!? What about you assholes who send dick pics to women you aren’t even sleeping with and/or dating? I have a female friend who use to receive a dick pic from a “strictly” male friend every time he got drunk! She would be so embarrassed for him but make the excuse that he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. And yea…from what I know…he never got within 50 feet of her pussy! Epic fail!? This is a great time to shout out all my male friends and the guys I’ve dated for never sending me a dick pic! ?? I think they all know I’m just not that chick and they bet not try it! But who is that chick? I have female friends of all races and ages and have never heard one of them say…yo I just received a great dick pic!? I would go as far as to say the only women that welcome a picture of a random cock are women doing life in prison! News flash….Women are not visual creatures like men so a dick pic is wasted on us. We are like…what the fuck? Why would he send this? This is gross! Wait…is that shit crooked? Who wants a crooked penis?! I apologize to any guy who suffers from a physical crooked dick disability! Here at Kingston Expressions, I take disabilities very seriously! However, I won’t apologize to those guys who have a crooked dick mental disability! Get fucking help! No one wants to see that shit! As a matter of fact, while no one wanted to see your cock…we women sure will put you on blast and circulate the dick pic amongst our friends…especially the ones that know your ass!? Yea so if I were you, I wouldn’t send out dick pics to any women…but especially not to those who work with you! Every day you will wake up feeling small while collecting an even smaller paycheck! There’s got to be a dick pic unemployment line! Virtually of course…Lol. ? Seriously though, I want to hear from the guys! Have you ever sent a dick pic? Did it lead to you getting laid? I’m gonna tell you a little secret…if a woman (not in prison) tells you she loved your dick pic…that woman probably doesn’t mean it but does have real feelings for you. She’s trying to spare your manhood. As I said, we women aren’t as visual as you men but we are active creatures. So a dick pic to me is like sending a picture of a carrot when a woman is on a diet…irritating because like what the fuck can we do with a picture of something we probably don’t find tasty?! It wasn’t like a picture of a chocolate cake….it was a fucking carrot! No one ordered that shit! And worst of all…even if we are hungry enough to substitute the chocolate cake we really desire with the dry ass carrot….you just got shit started that you are not currently in the position to finish! ?~KJM on Hump Day saying miss me with the dick pics! I’m good! Matter of fact…thanks to Elijah and the Ex Factor…if I don’t see dick for a long time (even in person) I’m good!✌?️ No craving here…libido totally fell onto 95N, got run over by a bus, and rolled under the tires of a MAC truck! Ouch!?
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