Yesterday, at Thanksgiving Dinner, I was deeply engrossed in a fascinating yet depressing topic…no…not politics…but dating in your late 40s, 50s, and 60s. I got to ask some of the older men and some of the youngest men in my family about relationships. I’ve known Papa Michaels’ stance on dating when young (sleep with as many of them as you can before you settle down??‍♀️….obviously advice he’s giving to the boys…but not necessarily deterring his grown daughters from this behavior because to him we will always be his innocent angels?)! And I have had conversations with my uncles about this topic for the last couple of years. My brother, Junior, and my BFF, Zack, are two men that give me HOPE. Not all men are dedicated to a life of misogynistic views and being womanizers!!! But unfortunately, I have a lot in my family that are… They are under the premise that one woman will never be enough…instead of realizing that perhaps it is THEM that fall short in how they view themselves that has them thinking that the issue is with women. ?? Perhaps, these men/boys know deep down inside that they aren’t enough and overcompensate by participating in the emotional, mental, and sometimes physical destruction of women…whom for the most part…only wanted to love them. For example, I have an uncle (whom I love dearly) who has 6 baby mamas that have given him 8 beautiful children. My aunt was his ONLY wife. Right now it appears that he goes back and forth between a few of the baby mamas. Love him to pieces but am of course thoroughly disgusted. When asked how he manages to get away with this mess in his 60s…he apparently replied that…these women decided to put up with his crap because they feel the next dude will just do much of the same!!!! ??? Is this what dating in the 40s, 50s, and 60s…look like?! ?Is this what dating in general looks like?! If so…shout out to all the seriously committed lesbians who take care of their women! Rise up! And show us single and fucking delusional women how to rise up and demand what we deserve!!! We may not be lesbians but you can still give us hope in walking in our feminine energy firmly and confidently cause apparently when we are dealing with men…most of us straight women SETTLE! What a time to be straight!!!! Fml. All of this got me to thinking…is this what I’m doing with the Ex Factor? Thinking this is as good as it gets and the next dude will be scared of commitment? A great part of me thinks NOT…. I have had real relationships on breaks with the Ex Factor. Committing was not their issue. Immaturity and treating women like their property were the main issues I ran up on. That and I realized I was still in love with the Ex Factor. I hold my own so much better when love is not involved! The Ex Factor and once upon a time…Julio….are the only two reoccurring romantic love interest men in my life. Many other guys thought I wouldn’t walk away from them but I did. And now even Julio is on that list. I’m waiting for the day that it permanently happens with the Ex Factor. When I’m free. Leaving him in his sea of brokenness. That day is close….I feel it. And I truly believe my great love is on his way. He will have so much to teach me about love, building a life together, and the strength of a man who believes in building an empire with a woman he views as his equal….the ying to his yang. I await that day…until that day I will say this….if you see me with a man that’s a known cheater or I even feel he’s out there fucking others….if I ain’t leave him…I’m dishing much of the same. ? Men can be boys all they want but they can never outdo women in love nor cheating. Yo…womanizing men…you sure the baby is yours? Lol. ~KJM on Serenity Saturday but was originally written on the Flashback Friday after Thanksgiving. The things I say may be ignorant and unladylike but I stand by what I say. If you a good dude…this does NOT apply to you. To all the women out there….You cannot continue to be a good woman to a bad man. You just giving your life away without even fighting for it. Bad girls are either born or made…I was born. ??
You deserve a man that’s committed solely to you. You should never settle. Also, I think that your brother and friend aren’t the exception. I think most of the men in their 30’s and early 40’s were born to and raised by that player generation and saw the impact that it had on them and their mothers and make a conscious effort to do better. So, in the next couple of years (or sooner), I can’t wait to read about the love that you’ve found and all the blessings that come from that love. ?