I know it’s been a while since I blogged. Part of me has been trying to catch up with my day job and the other part of me has just been happily living life like it’s GOLDEN! ?Just had an AMAZING weekend with my boo and then my family! ?? So grateful for those moments in life where my heart is so overjoyed…that all I can do is feel gratitude! ? Even though I’m still on my weekend high, it’s Charm School Monday…time to get into our lesson! Over the weekend, I was hanging with a group of female friends (of many different ages) that I have had for almost 14 years. They are like family. ? One has recently had a family member (female) that married a man almost 40 years younger than her! I think her family member is a P.I.M.P. ?? but the other women felt she was too old to be married to a man so young. To me, age is just a number. Whatever floats your boat…you should do! And if you can get a younger spouse while living your best SINGLE life…why the fuck not?! ?? Of course our conversation got heated because people always forget that the Ex Factor is 8.5 years younger than me. Since we started dating in 2010, I have had women say some pretty rude shit to me about dating so much younger while most men don’t give a fuck. You see even women buy into the stigma that after a woman is pass a certain age…she must live a limited life…while these men out here…do what the fuck they please and not making any apologies for it! ? Everything for a woman, even if she is not interested in having children, is about her biological clock! Why the fuck is that? ? Now my friends were not specifically speaking of my situation but of course I have a bone in this fight. The first three months into dating the Ex Factor, our age difference did not really cross my mind. I was 29 and he was 20 and our love making showed it! ?? I was just so excited to find out that after 13 years of Julio being the only guy I loved…my heart could love again and much more deeply! My heart was floating outside of my body. I was (and am still) so much in love. No matter what we have been through (even with all the crazy ups and downs)…there is no man I have loved more. ? While my feelings have stayed the same (or even got stronger), three months into dating an associate of mine had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend who was two years younger than her. He broke it off Labor Day Weekend 2010…coincidentally the weekend of my first argument with the Ex Factor. As she cried to me on the phone, the Ex Factor and I were on a date night and about to have some intense make up sex. My associate warned me that a younger man is always going to want a younger woman so watch out with the Ex Factor! ?? That’s the first time age had ever crossed my mind. And that’s when shit got real. I wanted to know if he was serious about me…and of course he wasn’t ready to be and I wasn’t ready to leave him. So we went on…with me now having major doubts. As time went on, my associate started stalking her ex online, while questioning why me and the Ex Factor were still together. If I had been strong then (like I have grown to be), I would have told her to mind her fucking business. Truth be told, I don’t consider a two year age difference as a real one. If you are in the same census bubble…you are essentially the same age! Also, my associate had no proof her “younger” ex left her for any woman much less a younger one! I can tell you from the short time I knew her…that…her elevator did not go all the way upstairs! Her man was in the military and on tour in Iraq and she would send him crazy emails about him ignoring her if she hadn’t heard from him in a day or two! Clearly, she was not meant to be a military wife! ?? But I digress! What I loathe was that she was the first person to plant the seed of doubt that the Ex Factor and I may not work! Since then, it’s been hit after hit when women approach me about the topic. They ask…when will you get married?! When will you have children? Forgetting or ignoring the fact that before the Ex Factor, I never wanted to be married nor have children! And without him, I’m almost certain I don’t want children! Marriage I’m still on the fence with because there are so many reasons people get married for. All of which are none of our business! ?? But I digress again! I asked my brother, Junior, what he thought about all of this and he said there is no science to why a man leaves a woman! While women are over there calculating their odds….men doing them! If he (no matter his age) wants to leave you for a younger woman…he will! ???????? Plain and simple! Yes children are a factor for couples who want children but each couple has to cross that bridge for themselves. For me, if my children cannot have his eyes and his hands…there’s no point in even trying! ? Maybe that’s silly or naive or just maybe…I am one of those women that won’t allow my biological clock to lead me! If we end up working out…great! If we don’t…I will still be okay…because a man nor my reproductive system never defined me to begin with! ?? I am just going to enjoy the time God is giving us and deal with the rest when it’s time. It is crazy to me…that even we women believe that after we reach a certain age…we should be nice and limit ourselves to the few left overs society tells us we are entitled to!!! ??? Maybe a woman marrying a man 40 years her junior is making a huge fucking mistake or maybe…just maybe…that’s one boss bish that decided she is gonna live her life getting the strongest Big O (orgasm) until the day she dies! Maybe that’s a woman creating her own destiny and living a limitless life to the best of her ability! ?? ~KJM on Charm School Monday! To my babe, I’m crazy as fuck and we don’t make sense but I’m riding with you…as far as we can go! ?
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