Yesterday I was super emotional and couldn’t figure out why. Then on my subway ride home, I started to fight back tears. It’s February…the last month I saw my friend Michele alive in 2015. She passed June 4 and because I had relocated back to my home state and had just started a new job…I couldn’t go to her funeral. To be honest, I haven’t been able to go back to Richmond. My way of dealing with death is to just keep moving…literally. I can’t stop and grieve or I will just fall apart. The issue with this is grief has a way of sneaking up on you at the most odd times. It never goes away…it just lays dormant. So I fought back tears because I do not like to cry publicly. Yesterday evening was all a blur. I felt the emotional effects of Michele’s sudden passing and not even television could distract me. I probably fell asleep around a quarter to 9…15 minutes before I was suppose to take my birth control pill! FML! I awoke briefly at 12:40am and watched the ending of the vacation episode of “Golden Girls.” Still it had not occurred to me that I hadn’t taken my pill! To show you how serious my pill game is….I’ve been on it since I was 21 years old with only a 1.5 year break, during which I met the ex factor and to make him feel comfortable (even though we always used condoms) I got back on the pill. In that time I’ve been late with my pill twice (this includes last night) and completely missed one when I was at Julio’s aunt and uncles house in 2007 and when I went to take my pill out Julio made me laugh and it fell in their recliner chair. We were never able to find it! That’s how serious my pill game is! I don’t play with it at all! Even in years of celibacy, I stayed on the pill because you know my philosophy…dick falls out the sky! And I always want to be prepared! This is a good time to shout out all the birth control and condom companies who have contributed to my having safe sex!?? I thank you for all your hard work! Now back to my silly self. At 4am, I naturally awoke for work and my first thought was…I didn’t take my fucking pill! FML! I immediately took it and started googling what happens when you don’t take your pill on time. Now Elijah and I haven’t had sex since the end of November and lately I haven’t been feeling like I want to. I explained to him back in September that I’m one of those rare women where I can separate sex and love so if he wanted my heart sex won’t be the way. As a matter of fact, sex generally distances me from a guy. I’ve to fall in love before we ever have sex though Elijah may be the first one to break that trend. So my feelings have grown since we stop having sex but I know men need to be touched. I can’t hold him off forever. Back to this pill, according to my google search…my pill is a combination pill (has progestin and estrogen) so generally I’ve a 12 hour window to take my pill before I have to worry about using a back up source of protection like condoms. I took it 7.25 hours later than usual. However, the first week and last week of the active pills are the worst time to be late or miss a pill. This was my first week and the time the pill fell into the recliner…I was in my last week…though Julio and I never got pregnant✌?️ He was always sad about that. Anyways, every article reminded me of two things: 1. Late pills and missed pills can cause break through bleeding (like spotting or a mini period…ugh I just finished my period and feel like airing out my vagina this week at night by sleeping with no underwear!) and 2. See the pamphlet for my actual pills! FML! I don’t want to see anymore blood! Also, who the fuck has ever opened and read the pamphlet package in their birth control?!? Well there is a first time for everything. My pamphlet says to take my pill as soon as I remember (which I did), continue to take my pill normally, and to use back up protection for the next 7 days especially since this was my first week into new pills! FML! While I’m pretty sure Elijah’s dick won’t fall out the sky any time soon (I pray…wait is it ok to pray for that?)…and we also always use condoms…I’m still a worrier by nature. So I worry and I think…Fuck My Life! ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday saying I’m so happy God looks out for children and fools?? I want to be Auntie Kingston for life?? Save the drama for your mama! Lol.