Oh…Whatever Happened to Phoenix?! (The Original Bitch Betta Have My Money Edition)    

Many of you have been wondering for months…what happened to Phoenix?! I want to say I purposely left you hanging…leaving you at the edge of your sexually thirsty seats but no that really wasn’t it. As I’ve always said, Phoenix steps in to fill a spot…WHEN I CHOOSE. He doesn’t own a spot nor was he ever asked to fill out an application for one. Something about Phoenix made me never want to stay more than one night. I’ve known him since 2004 and I’ve never ever been able to fall asleep next to him. The last time we saw each other, in September 2014, he asked me if I thought he was going to kill me in my sleep as he smiled at me with those pearly whites while his dark chocolate skin glistened in the moonlight. I don’t know what made me keep him at a distance until the weekend of April 1st when I let Elijah go. Then like a lightning bolt, I saw Phoenix’s true colors. Typically, our friendship consists of us supporting each other on everything. He lends me a listening ear and has a reassuring voice but not on this particular weekend. Phoenix and I spoke about me ending it with Elijah and he seemed supportive UNTIL I hit a nerve. I’m not sure how I got under his skin. I ran down a laundry list of reasons why Elijah and I just won’t cut it. Amongst it, I mentioned that I hated Elijah’s cheapness and the fact that he was almost 40 years old yet still playing mind games! Now I’m not the best in relationships and lawd knows many people want to cast a stone at me for my past indiscretions but I really tried with Elijah. That dude straight up wanted a woman to be bare foot, pregnant, serve him, make all his meals, bathe him (I’m sure), and yet still hold down a job (or 2) 7 days a week! Elijah was NOT the gentleman he pretended to be. I’m not even mad about it. Wouldn’t we all want to see the warning signs in the dating phase so we can bolt?! Well I got my chance and that’s what the fuck I did! I told Phoenix because I’ve gone younger, dated in my age group, and now gone older…I’m noticing there are some common themes with black men! Like serious commitment escapes them! Now not all black men because I damn sure don’t want to start receiving hate mail from y’all! ? So hear me out: I’ve dated the fake Shabba Ranks to the Imposter Waka Flaka’s…I need a fucking break! ?? I announced that I’m going back to dating men of different races like when I was younger and once again…that’s what the fuck I’ve been doing! My bed is MY business and nobody else’s. Yo this dude Phoenix lost it…but….wait for it…I’m about to pick it back up! Out of the entire list of things I mentioned about how Elijah treated me…Phoenix took one thing personal. He took issue with the fact that I was pissed when Elijah said the most he would ever spend on my (or any woman for that matter) engagement ring was $1,500. Now let be clear here like I was with Phoenix. I make my own money and in my entire life the only men I went to for money when I didn’t have it were the men in my family…mostly Papa Michaels and my brother, Junior….so I ain’t no motherfucking gold digger but that’s how Phoenix handled me…like a hoe in the street with greasy lips, money grabbing hands, and ashy ankles!!!! I can’t believe he did me that way! We have been down for each other for a very long time. I went to visit him when he was in graduate school. Brought him food and wine while never bringing up money! That’s just not my style in relationships or affairs for that matter but when people try to flip the script on me…I ask them to come correct! Phoenix informed me that he now makes $160,000 a year (ouch hurt my feelings to find that out because my career isn’t that lucrative) and he would buy his girlfriend/baby mama a $1,500 dollar ring in a heartbeat (if he wanted to be engaged) and she better be lucky to receive it. He said it’s about the marriage not the ring. Now wait a minute….most of my friends are happily married with nice rings. I don’t need a $50,000 ring but why would you go out and get me something that I can easily buy myself (or get in a Cracker Jack box fuck hole) with no thought of what I may like. Men, many engagement and wedding rings are passed down to children from their parents. So I asked Phoenix if $1,500 was good enough for his child and all I got was DEAD SILENCE. See that’s the issue for me with Elijah (and now Phoenix), it’s the attitude that a woman should be happy with whatever the fuck they do….hence Elijah’s cheapness and demanding ways and Phoenix’s cheating ways (yea I know I use to kick it with him once in a while but I’m still going to call a spade a spade). If you remember clearly, I said it’s the person who is in the dating relationship that should honor whatever they have…not a person on the outside. And when married, the stakes are even higher and that’s why I don’t fuck with married men. It’s pissing off God and married women at the same damn time. I ain’t got no time for that drama! ✌?️Now back to Phoenix’s manifesto. If I was engaged and buying my future husband’s ring….I would have a budget but my main goal is to find a ring he will like and want to wear until eternity. Some black women profess that it’s about the marriage and accept the Cracker Jack Box ring easily just for the sake of saying they are married meanwhile he just bought his mama a Porsche! Some of us ain’t even being offered a ring (Phoenix’s girlfriend) while women of all other races have requirements financially, emotionally, and physically to settle down with a man! I took a poll from my male married friends of all other races and they whole hearted disagreed with Elijah and Phoenix! They thought a $5,000 ring (that’s the number I threw out when Elijah brought the subject up and asked me how much I would want him to spend) was getting off way too easy from what was required of them when they got married to their wives! Now I’m not saying all black men feel this way and I’m not saying all black women take what they can get. I’m not even saying all women of other races make their financial value the number one priority in their marriages. What I am saying is: “NO ROMANCE WITHOUT FINANCE!” The old skool people got it…I don’t know what the fuck this new generation is about but it’s cold out here in these streets to be playing “the you better be happy a man wants you” game! If the Ex Factor could have only afforded a $1,500 ring, I would have happily accepted it because we ride for each other and he’s a giver. He is the type of man (faults and all) that wanted to provide all my wants and needs. And if he couldn’t do it today…he had a plan to do it when he could. I’m not about the coins but my pussy mileage, love, and understanding are worth more than $1,500 from a man sitting on almost $200,000. Notice these men aren’t limiting the amount of the ring because they want to save the money for a house…they are limiting it because that’s all they feel a black woman deserves. Trust and believe if they left our race…that shit wouldn’t fly! “Becky with the good hair” has not lost sight of her overall worth. Vanessa Bryant (Kobe’s wife) is a prime example of that. Kobe was messing up all over the place, she dropped another child, and her ring just kept getting bigger and bigger. I’m not even mad at her…Ivana Trump said in the movie “First Wives Club”…”don’t get mad…get everything!” So I’m not saying Vanessa Bryant’s way of thinking is right nor wrong (I am making an assumption as an outsider) but I will leave this right here…”I ain’t saying she a gold digger but she ain’t messing with no broke…” Well you get where I’m coming from. This may be a good time for me to wipe my lip gloss off, put my money grabbing hands in my own pocket, and get to lotioning my ashy ankles! Wtf. These motherfuckers must have fell and bumped their heads! So Phoenix, Elijah, and I must part ways. Stay tuned! ~KJM is dropping some juicy tidbits on Serenity Saturday! Sometimes it’s great to switch things up! Be well! Be kind to yourselves! And know your worth!?? Now where that lotion at?! ✌?️