Well you guys knew this was coming….the return of Elijah! ? Bumped into him two days ago after only seeing him a handful of times since I broke things off April 1. Now before I get into the meat of this post…I will say I know at least one couple that met at work and are now married! But those wonderful I met my soulmates at work couples are usually far, few, and in between! Most of us regret it like a bad one night stand! Hell for some of y’all it was a bad one night stand filled with cheap liquor and awkward sex! But I digress! For the few of you who found love at work…I’m so happy for you! Now back to the rest of us…which it was an EPIC FAIL for! Don’t crawl under a rock! Own this mess! I never ever wanted to date someone from work. My policy was “my money in one pocket and my man in the other….the two shall never meet!“?? The don’t shit where you eat policy is a necessary way of survival in the work world! Think about it….if shit went LEFT…which it has a great chance of doing for most of us…you will now have awkward moments at work! Or even flat out drama…especially for those of y’all screwing your bosses! ?Then you run the risk of being pushed out of that job because of your sexual indiscretions. Bank account suddenly low and the new skills you learned at your last job…well lets just say you can’t put them on your resume! ?So there you are…window shopping on broke street! ? Looking back on it, I’ve been approached by a lot of guys over my working career but it was Elijah’s timing that gave him a chance, along with his respectful introduction, and good looks. I think I got lucky with Elijah (of course only time will tell) in that he is also very private at work so hardly anyone knew we were dating except for two people who were present when he approached me. That Elijah had guts! Facebook reminded me that October 6 (yesterday) was the day of my first official date with Elijah last year!? Shout out to Facebook for reminding us of all of the mistakes we posted about! Seriously…where would I be without that awkward reminder?! Lol. Elijah did ask me for a second chance AGAIN when I saw him. I told him it was a HELL NO and that we weren’t compatible in any area of life. He replied…not even great sex?! Um…I’m a little confused here. Was he referring to the the jack rabbit shoved in my vagina or the rip in my asshole?! *Refer to the blog post titled “Unexpectedly Backdoored” if you do not know what I’m referring to. Now back to this bullshit. Great sex? Why would a man think his sex was great if a woman never said so? And I mean the current woman he’s sleeping/speaking with…not what the last 10 broads said. ✌?️I don’t even advertise my sex like that! Some dudes love my assertiveness in the bedroom and some don’t. Some like for me to step on their balls with my 6 inch heels and some even go farther and love when I crush those balls. I’m laughing so hard right now as I type this because if you have been following this blog…you will know…balls confuse me. I’m not good with them….except to step on and crush them!??? Anyways…I don’t know what those 50 year old women (no disrespect to my mature readers) that Elijah prefers to date have been telling him….but the rabbit and the tear in my butthole don’t amount to great sex! I actually cringe just thinking about it! ?Next month will make it a year since the whole thing happened. Maybe I need to put together a…my asshole finally healed (months after) bar tour! ? Don’t try me! That bar tour could be in a city near you for all the women who had bad sex with a guy who thinks he’s great in bed! ? Oh yes Elijah tried it going there. I was nice enough just to repeat that we weren’t compatible on ANY level! And I hope he finally got it! Like what’s up with these men anyways? I know it’s cuffing season but if I say I don’t want you or no longer want you…why the hell are y’all still asking the same damn question twice. I said NO PENIS FOR ME SIR! It’s like they think I’m turning down dessert and repeat themselves as if I would change my mind. I love dessert especially all things chocolate but it’s not every man’s sex that would be considered dessert! Matter of fact…some of y’all so lazy…you don’t even aim to be the main course in the bedroom and are just hoping some woman will be desperate enough to choose you as dessert after she’s had a light meal with her man! Miss me with that! To Elijah and all other men…wait for a woman to tell you…you are great in bed before you declare it! I know my sex game was off with Elijah because after that jack rabbit in the vagina/rip in the asshole time (the 3rd and last time we had sex)…to finish him off (if you recall) I gave him a hand job so bad that he had to help me! And there was no shame in my game since my asshole was bleeding.✌?️He’s lucky I didn’t direct him to touch himself! Miss me with all of that! Anyway kiddies…the moral here is do not shit where you eat! Avoid messing with coworkers and get your cheap thrills elsewhere! Keep your coins multiplying and your legs closed at work! This goes for women AND men! ~KJM on Flashback Friday saying…I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried! ??? **Disclaimer: There are probably women out there who love Elijah’s tricks…I am just not one of them! Pointing to my asshole as I write this.?
i dated a man that i worked with before. It was one of the most invigorating relationships outside of my husband. It however was also one of the things i regretted because we couldnt move like most couples. He even got fired because my boss knew he liked me and that was a nightmare. On top of that i had to speak on the company behalf but i made sure to tread in the middle which was hard. if i was single i wouldnt do it again its too much stress involved
Wow…thank you for sharing. Folks need to know they risk a lot for office romances! And the couples who do make it are the ones that looked like best friends…not lovers. I too regret not following my first mind and not dating at work. The good thing is most of the time I do not see Elijah and since he has two jobs I’ve hardly seen him since April!?? Funny thing is every time I see Elijah’s face….it reminds me of how deep my love for the Ex Factor is!? Maybe that was his whole purpose. Now Toi…I definitely want to hear about this invigorating relationship before you married your hubby! Girl…we gonna have to private text when things aren’t so hectic because I’m like ? lol ~KJM