It Sucks To Be The FIRST To Break Him In (Ring The Alarm Edition)

Do you guys remember when Beyoncé dropped the song “Ring The Alarm” from the album B’day?! I immediately fell in love with it but for some reason mainstream America and pop culture didn’t!!! For those who don’t know, “Ring The Alarm” is an anthem ALL women who knew their men when they were boys and had a hand in “molding” them should learn by heart! Beyoncé gonna ring the alarm (aka fuck him up in my opinion) if the man that SHE upgraded tries to ever leave her for another woman!?? B, I’m right there with you (bat in hand and all)! That’s right…way before Beyoncé got some of y’all chicks in “FORMATION” and had you sipping on “LEMONADE,” B tried to forewarn y’all about what would happen if you upgrade an ungrateful man! But was y’all listening?! Nooo! So ten years later…we had to get our asses in “Formation” for not heeding Beyonce’s message with “Ring The Alarm.” Now let me say this….I’m not a Beyoncé fan but I respect her hustle and support when I can! Jay Z should have named her “the hardest working chick in the game” instead of the “baddest chick in the game!” Beyoncé be channeling her inner Jamaican self….unbeknownst to her…when she drops album after album…even when pregnant! All hail Queen B!?? But I digress. This blog isn’t about Beyonce’s success. It’s got an even deeper message. I look at the Savannah James’ verses the Majorie Harvey’s of the world and I lose my mind! Now let me be clear….I love both women! But they are good examples for where this blog is going. Savannah has known LeBron since they were teenagers, gave birth to two of three of their children before they got married, and stayed with LeBron as he turned into “King James!” Now she don’t look it…but you know home girl been through some THANGS! I can’t even say things! Shit! Props to her for standing with beauty, grace, and smiles while LeBron grew the fuck up! Like I said…I don’t know them personally but I know the fuck what I have been through with the Ex Factor these last 6 years and he isn’t famous!!! His 20s bout to be the death of me or give me some serious jail time because most of the time…I’m looking at the Ex Factor like “no him bloodclot didn’t?!” See blog about the “puppy pissing all over my fucking carpet” for reference! Lol! Savannah, girl, can you send me YOUR playbook because these are trying times and I’ve spent 6 years loving a boy who will one day be an amazing man and I will be damned if some other chick comes along and claims the motherfucking final product! Hold up..wait a minute! I’m having a LEMONADE moment! ?? Woosa! Woosa! Breathe in! Breathe out! I don’t want to have to knock a bitch out! ? lol. Now onto to Marjorie “fly ass” Harvey aka….Steve Harvey’s third wife! Now she may have had some influence on his “Think Like A Man” franchise but so probably did those two prior divorces! Wow! I’m about to lose it! ✌?️ I don’t know for sure but I can almost bet money that his first wife didn’t get this thoughtful, loving, and RICH Steve…Marjorie got! Girl…I pray she is somewhere living her happiness and they all get along well! But if I were her (and maybe she or the second wife did this) I would RING THE ALARM! I mean…I’m mentally out there swinging bats for all the girlfriends, baby mamas, and first wives who put their hearts and souls into supporting a man on his dream and when he became greatness…he bounced with some chick that never had to get dirt on her ankles! Bitch I think not! Back the fuck up! Too much work and too much time was put into this man! Matter of fact….I’m about to channel my inner Angela Bassett in “Waiting To Exhale” and have all his shit burning on my front lawn! Figuratively of course!? Now I’m not saying every first wife molded her man…not saying that at all but for every woman who did…this blog is for you! Sometimes I just want to give up on the Ex Factor! He takes so much patience and understanding that I’m digging for those things in the crevasses of my asshole and am pretty sure they don’t exist! But I’m a mess too….so he could be saying the same about me!? Boys are typically (I’ve found this to be true from my own experiences) many years behind girls from birth! I want to say they start behind in the fucking womb but I have no actual proof of that as I have never been pregnant but I’m willing to bet money on it! Smdh! What we women go through with men is just too fucking much and I hear it’s a lifetime thing! Your man could be 50 years old and still give you a “what the fuck was he thinking…let me get this brick and hit him in the face” moment. Though KJM never promotes violence. ? This is more of a mental exercise! Woosa! Woosa! If I am molding a man to be my King, I’m not just going to easily let another woman come get the fruits of my labor! No way baby! And if they do leave…it’s better to be the wife than the long term girlfriend because at least if you get the right divorce lawyer…a good settlement may be coming your way! Because let’s be honest…these dudes generally don’t have prenups when they don’t got a fucking penny to their names! You can be on the come up and leave me….but it’s gonna cost you! Channeling my inner Vanessa Bryant (Kobe’s wife) here….lol! ~KJM on Hump Day saying you ain’t gonna have me in the streets singing “Not Gonna Cry” because if you get shady….me and my lawyer will “Ring The Alarm!” Shout out to Savannah James, Vanessa Bryant, and Mrs. Marjorie Harvey if you nasty! ??? Lets end the morning on some wise words from Queen B on B’day: [Hook:] Ring the alarm I been through this too long But I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm Won’t you ring the alarm? I been through this too long But I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm [Chorus:] She gon’ be rockin’ chinchilla coats If I let you go Getting the house off the coast If I let you go She gon’ take everything I own If I let you go I can’t let you go Damn, if I let you go She gon’ rock them VVS stones If I let you go Couped in the ‘bach or the Rolls If I let you go She gon’ profit everything I taught If I let you go I can’t let you go Damn, if I let you go