I Once Slept With An Ugly Man (True Story Edition)

I have dated two ugly men in my life….once as a teen and once in my 30s. Now when I say ugly, I mean ugly on the inside and out! Both were rebound men however I only slept with one (from in my 30s). I know men are reading this and thinking that they sleep with ugly women all the time…no big deal right?! Women typically don’t go to bed with men they aren’t attracted to in some sort of way. I cringe just writing about this experience but I’m feeling ignorant today so let’s just discuss it. I want to keep my young readers from ever making this mistake. Here are 5 signs you are dating and sleeping with an ugly man: 5. HE WAITS UNTIL YOU ARE VULNERABLE: I would never sleep with an ugly man if I was in my right mind! They wait for years for me to be heartbroken and then they slide in like they are Prince Charming! Last I checked, Prince Charming was always attractive in all those Disney movies! He never resembled Freddy from “A Nightmare On Elm Street!” 4. HE HAS UNLIMITED FUNDS: Yes the ugly ones (inside and out) will wine and dine you so you forget that you are having dinner with someone from “Ghostbusters!” They want to distract women from knowing the true them. Some men think money can keep a woman but if you make your own money, like I do, you not staying long! The ugliness of the man will start to show and you will be out. 3. YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN HAVING SEX: You are definitely sleeping with an ugly man when you have to close your eyes and pretend you are in bed with someone else! I’ve been there! It was a very traumatic experience! I just kept telling myself that he was a really nice guy and I should try dating a nice guy over the usual pretty shit heads I date! But this situation was worse! The ugly man became the ultimate fuck head plus he will forever be able to say he had you…while you burn photos and deny ever knowing him! 2. HE USUALLY HAS SOME KIND OF ODD SHAPED HEAD: The ugly man I slept with had the most odd shaped head with a receding hairline! Waking up to that head every day was scary! No wonder I preferred him under me…tossing my salad like a good ugly man should! I’m seriously grossed out reliving this experience! 1. YOU FEAR FOR THE LOOKS OF YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN: In the beginning when I thought this ugly dude was really a great guy in disguise, I tried to picture our children. I started having nightmare after nightmare! Who the hell could give birth to a head so big and full of dents! My poor offspring! I think in the end, before he showed his true colors, I negotiated one child. I could close my eyes and give birth to one ugly child right?! I hoped it would be a boy because ugly boys can get pretty girls (like his father got me) but for girls…ugly is a death sentence! FML! Thank goodness it didn’t work out! Mister Tossed Salad became my biggest mistake minus that good toss salad he served up. I would never order it with another guy but it was the only good memory I took with me! ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday saying I’m tempted to be ignorant all day?