I can’t explain to you how ignorant today’s Hump Day blog is about to get! If you are subscribing to my page…please click on the link so you can see AND read the photo that accompanies it! Some woman named, Kyana Williams, wrote an earth shattering post for those of us women who have never had or haven’t had an orgasm through sex in a long while. It’s life changing and a must read! She basically said to get up while having sex with the man that can’t make you climax and go find the most worthless man (probably working in the produce section of a supermarket) and there lies our orgasm! ?? I can’t even paraphrase her right. You just have to read it in her own words but according to Kyana, the worst that man’s situation is, the more she is sure our orgasms are there! ?? Yasss….Kyana took me down memory lane because I’ve only had a vaginal orgasm with Phoenix (once right before my 29th birthday in May 2010) and all through college with Crazy! Now Phoenix is a man going places in life so this post does not apply to him. Though it’s worth mentioning that after I met and fell for the Ex Factor, I never had an orgasm again! I would still go and kick it with Phoenix on my breaks with the Ex Factor but it was never the same because I was fucking with a broken heart! ?But I digress. This blog is really about the men Kyana described in her post…like Crazy. Dude was a townie, not attending Penn State, had a huge penis (my first from the well endowed club), no legal job, did not have his own crib for most of the time I knew him, cheated like a motherfucker, and always had me climbing the walls! Now he was a good obsession to have! As long as you don’t catch nothing nor get pregnant by these fools…this is the sexual Mecca right here! ?? That’s right…homage your ass to a multiorgasmic experience! ? It was so good that the one time I actually physically cheated on a guy…I cheated with Crazy! ?? That shit was mind blowing. I’m losing it just sitting here thinking about how great the sex was. I was hooked and it was the one time in my life that I was dick whipped! All hail King Ding A Ling! ??????? He and I stayed friends for years. I even went back and smashed at the end of Summer 2009….when I had just graduated from graduate school and needed a pick me up. I rented a hotel in State College and boy oh boy did he still have it! ?? The only thing was I knew he was lying about having a male roommate. In my heart, I knew he lived with a woman…his woman but he lied! Had he kept it real…we would still be friends. I would have taken that big dick and walked away but instead he lied until his young bitch contacted me! ✌? I’m not about that drama! I thanked her for the drinks and meals he provided me…with her money and then I cut him off for life! ✌?✌?✌?I can’t deal with liars. You can tell me the worst truth and there’s a good chance I will still be down for you! But once you lie…I’m done! Well except for the damn Ex Factor. There’s always one kryptonite. ?Anyways, back to great sex! Kyana is on to something and I can testify! MOST (not all) ain’t shit dudes are fucking amazing in bed! ?? Think about it…he ain’t got shit going on so he got to be able tear some pussy up! Reflecting on this trifling statement, it has occurred to me that it’s been SEVEN years since I’ve climaxed. And it’s not all the Ex Factor’s fault! I’ve never had an orgasm with Julio, Elijah (how could I with a rabbit (sex toy not animal) jammed in me ?), Mister Toss Salad (though that was one hell of a tossed salad! Had he had a dick that fell between more than my pinky and ring finger…he may have been great! Plus he tossed a salad so well that I kept thinking….how much shit chips does he really like to suck on??), and never with the Ex Factor (his selfish ass never even tried…?). After doing the math…I realized that I’ve never climaxed in my 30s!!! ?And I’m almost 40! Fuck that’s an entire wasted decade focused on love and relationships instead of sex! And I went fucking younger!!! Where the fuck are my rewards?! A dry well and a semi bitter spirit! Hell naw! There’s got to be more to life. As I wait for my King, I sure hope I bump into a dude where sex is his middle name (safely that is) and he turns my ass out! That’s the kind of dude that great sex blogs are made of…?? ~KJM is not humping around on Hump Day but sure is hoping some great penis falls out the sky soon!? Sometimes I feel like unblocking Crazy and getting that old thang back for a night or two…but even I’m not that crazy! Or am I? Stay tuned ?
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