Recently, I binged watched the HBO show, “Insecure.” First season was okay and second season was great. So many life lessons in it. Today…let’s tackle one…cheating on a good man. Now I know many of you are chastising me for not being against cheating all together but if we women kept it 100 all the time, we would realize that some men never deserved our good pussy followed with loyalty especially when he is dipping out on us. If you are with a dirty dog…it’s best to end the relationship, change your address, and move on with someone better but sometimes shit ain’t that cut and dry. Sometimes shit is crazy messy…even when we did not intend it to be. Sometimes we lose ourselves in the mess. In my opinion, there are two types of women who cheat: (1) the neglected and/or abused one and (2) women who cheat (much like men) because they can get away with it. Out of all the cheating women I have known, most of them fell in the former category more than the latter. The men they loved left them exposed and insecure. These men forgot to value their women and boyfriend number two stepped in to say all the things she has been wanting to hear. ? Also, boyfriend number two most likely was hitting that pussy like he just got out of jail. He HUNGRY…not leaving one taste unsavored when eating the box. ? And we are so desperate to be eaten right even if it’s not from our true love. Boyfriend number 2 never forgets to tell us how beautiful we are and he notices everything about us. If he’s a good boyfriend number 2…he will play his position well with no expectations and just do his fucking job with no drama. That was Phoenix for me. He played his position well and knew he was hired to do a job…and that’s all I’m giving him credit for! ?? But I digress into a place of nasty ecstasy! ? Back to the blog at hand. In the first season of “Insecure,” Issa cheats on her boyfriend of five years, Lawrence. In most aspects, Lawrence appears to be a good guy but he did spend five years living with Issa without marrying her…two of which he was unemployed and she had to support him. ????? For the sake of today’s blog…let’s say Lawrence is a good guy. In order to fully get today’s lesson, flashback with me to my college years at Penn State. WE ARE! ?? A good friend and I sat down and had a discussion about cheating. I won’t say which friend because we are still friends today and are like sisters. But she knows who she is. We made a cheating pact. While neither of us ever thought we could cheat on a guy we cared about, we understood that no one knows themselves in college. Truth be told, no one can ever say what they are going to do in a situation until they are in it! ?? We decided that if we ever cheated on a guy we cared about, we would NEVER tell him and break up with him the next day! Neither one of us wanted to continue hurting that guy…even if he didn’t know. It just so happened that before college was over (for her) and just when college was over (for me)…we both cheated. Her cheating fell into the category of neglect and she kept her word and broke up with her boyfriend the next day without telling him about her moment of betrayal. Then came my turn a couple months later. WAIT FOR IT. In some ways, I was not emotionally cared for and had no security in my pseudo relationship. The only time I have ever PHYSICALLY cheated on a guy was when I cheated with Crazy…mister multiple orgasm himself. The irony was…I never meant to. It was an accident. An orgasmic accident. Technically, I was not in a relationship with either guy but was exclusive in my pseudo relationship. While I cheated accidentally….literally tripped and fell on that dick…I cheated because I could get away with it. ? How do I know this? I did not keep the cheating pact. My pseudo man was away for 30 days when the incident happened. Before he left, I sexed him for hours. Then my slip up happened the first night he was gone and I sexed Crazy for hours. ??? Shout out to the birth control and condom companies. ?? Good looking out! ? This is when I learned that what my Dad said about women was true: we are dangerous creatures when we want to be (our bodies can keep going climax after climax) and when we cheat we hardly get caught because we are smarter than men in this area! ? Oh the shame! ? I would love to say I regretted that day with Crazy but to this day it was the BEST sex I ever had. Intense. Dramatic. Filled with emotions. Bite for bite. Kiss for kiss. Passion for passion. ? It was fucking wrong but I did not ask for it! Yet I am no victim either! ? Crazy followed me home after the club. We didn’t even do it that night. We just slept because he had this thing about not touching me when I drink. It was daybreak that got us. ? So why didn’t I break things off with my pseudo boo when he came back? He had just taken me back after five months of separation for some other shit I did (not cheating). If he knew I slept with someone else…he would forever be done with me and I just couldn’t lose him again…not after I just got him back! ✌? I know it was wrong…very fucking wrong but you cannot cheat on a good man! He will never truly let go of it…unless he’s fucking superhuman! I wasn’t in love with him but I cared deeply for him. He was my one good guy. Guess y’all figured out by now that I stepped out on Jason since I only dated two guys in college. While I don’t regret sleeping with Crazy…I do regret Jason and I not solidifying our renewed relationship. If he had been my boyfriend out right…I don’t think I would have opened the door for Crazy that night. But hey…I can’t be sure. ?Ironically, commitment phobe Crazy thought that having sex (for an entire day?) meant we were back together. You know I had to correct him quickly! ✌?My man would be back in 29 days and I would be there waiting for him. And I was. MORAL OF THE STORY: if you cheat on a GOOD man…he won’t forget it. If he even takes you back…your affair will always be in the back of his mind. And if he leaves you, the next woman will pay for your sins. ?? If you cheat on a BAD man (one that is always cheating on you), he, too, will hold it against you but at least y’all will be even! ??? Men always want to be forgiven but are not big on forgiveness especially when a woman cheats! ?? Honesty can set you free or destroy everything you may be trying to build. The choice is yours. I made mine many years ago and I think I made the right choice by staying silent about it (until now). ?? While I feel like I have grown out of this childish behavior (at least since 2012?), I still have no plans of being loyal to a man that isn’t loyal to me and does not secure me in a REAL relationship. Next time I’m just going to change my address though! Lol. KJM getting really ignorant on Temptation Tuesday. No amount of apologies can make up for cheating. If you are going to continuously do it, leave the person you are cheating on. If you made a mistake, like my friend and I did…the choice is yours (if you want to be honest about it or stay silent). Choose wisely. EDITOR’S NOTE: while I do not use real names in my blogs, I did not feel comfortable disclosing which friend I made the pact with. Most women do not want others to know they cheated. However I will say…I have known many women who cheat and most of the time it’s out of neglect/abuse/confusion…not because they are hoes. No one is perfect and we all have our ways of betraying the people we care about. One sin isn’t greater than the other. ??
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