Year 2018. The hardest year yet. My family endured so much heartache in 2018 but we are still standing. Year 2017, I had so much anger towards the Ex Factor. I am ashamed of that. I am better than that. In 2018, the Ex Factor was not even a real factor. I mean he was in my life but not important. I think he took so much from me in 2017, that I had nothing left to give…not even anger. Just wanted us to finally be over. My family needed me and the Ex Factor had nothing to offer in real life…not even a consoling shoulder. He’s just a selfish creature who lacks empathy. ? So I battled hardship with my family. My weight spiked up to 200 pounds!? I have never been that large in my life. I regrouped like a mama who needed to make sure she didn’t sacrifice herself while trying to take care of her cubs. ?? Every single day of 2018 was excruciating but I stepped forward with grace and style. My lipstick colors continued to boom…this time Fenty Beauty (Freckle Fiesta and Midnight Wasabi) and Too Faced Cosmetics (Lady Balls, The Real Teal, I Wanna Rock With You, Wicked, and Mrs Roper) took front stage. I wore them from Vegas (twice) to the Big Island in Hawaii to the US and British Virgin Islands (where I ended 2018 and began a peaceful 2019). I switched out my straight hair for big deep wave curls. I was stepping into my true island being and I had no time for negative energy. There were downs and downs (can’t even say there were ups in 2018) with the Ex Factor. My suffocation continued. I could not breathe. I felt trapped but the moment my life priorities shifted to the real important people in my life (my family and friends) it became clear that I could not stay here. I could not continue to entertain what the Ex Factor had become…a cruel passive aggressive version of the “Netflix and Chill” generation. ??♀️ I needed out. His touch was beyond foreign. I started to invite him to my bed less. Disgusted. Completely disgusted with him and this whole long drawn out waste of almost a decade! So I told him the truth…I am no longer attracted to him. I no longer long for his torture much less his touch. I love him (well the him I thought I knew) but I no longer wanted him. I WAS FREE! ?? And it was an amazing feeling. What was meant to kill me…to kill love…had not…could not…for only God is love! HE is the giver and taker of love. The Ex Factor had no such power! So I released myself and became naked. Naked in all 200 pounds of me. I walked in the nude with love in my heart. I AM STILL THRIVING! ?? I STILL BELIEVE IN MIRACLES AND LOVE IS A MIRACLE!!! ? ~KJM dropping Chapter 9 on Serenity Saturday. One more chapter to go…how are you enjoying the series?
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