Year 2014. Everything was hazy for me. I was in Richmond working…yet…I saw him over the holidays (2013). He still felt like home. How is that even possible with all that I have been through? I travelled….this time to Houston and Chicago to visit college friends. If you remember nothing else from chapters 4 and 5, please remember how important friendships are!!! I am lost yet my friends are helping me to find my way. God bless them for it. ❤️I made great friends in Richmond as well as deepened some friendships I had had for over a decade. From the outside, I was now struggling to hold onto my blue/green eyeshadow.? It felt like him….familiar AND strange. Yet I have not completely outgrown my eyeshadow nor my love for the Ex Factor. I think this is the year I finally made peace with some of the romantic mistakes the women in the older generation of my family made. For it was now my turn…to truly love a f*cking fool. But I won’t let him destroy me for he is just a boy and I am a queen. In 2014, I aimed to step into my destiny without him clouding my mind. It wasn’t easy but I finally broke away. Being over 340 miles away helped. Soon I put him on my block list and I emerged in a sea of black and white styles in the city of Chicago. I danced the nights away with Willow and I soaked up life without him. “No boyfriend, No problem” was what one of my Chicago (and Vegas 2013) dresses read. My dresses were either missing a sleeve or showing off my beautiful legs or BOTH! My mama always said I had amazing legs! So I show them…from the south west to the mid west to back to Richmond. I emerged. I stepped forward! ??Phoenix did hold my hand a little but I never allowed him to be my foundation. After all, that is not what I was in Richmond for. Matter of fact….why the f*ck had I accidentally moved there? Oh yea…the universe gave me no choice. I was meant to live this chapter out in Richmond and I had such amazing friend groups. I could breathe again. I could be me again. I…could…stop loving him? Still I am in a haze but I am crying less and smiling more. His texts are still reminders of my love for a jerk who just could not appreciate me. So the last couple months of the year, I kept him blocked on my phone. Somehow, he figured out how to get around the block and over the holidays (2014), he left me a voicemail. He never calls…for he is a texter. ? Ugh my next boo better love phone calls! ?? When I finally saw the voicemail pop up, I realized he had left it a few weeks before. With no plans of listening to it, I felt the sensation of anger creep up on me. How dare he still make contact when I made it clear that I did not want to hear from him! This was MY time! How dare he?! I mean I wanted to let him know that I am the type of woman that men line up to wipe my ass…if need be. Lol. I’ve woken up to breakfast in bed, came home to receive “just because” flowers, I have been wined and dined, and I have been the RECEIVER of pleasure of every sexual act I’ve experienced while away from him. I have made lust in a million positions since I walked away from his touch. I am the type of woman that men don’t say no to. That’s really what I wanted to yell into the phone. But when I finally listened to his voicemail, it said nothing really…just that he was coming to the Carolinas for an interview and hoped to see me. Wtf?! The Ex Factor really does not listen….I AM IN RICHMOND….NOT the Carolinas! ??♀️?? While his voicemail irritated the depths of my soul, when I heard his voice….a voice I had not heard in a year…all I could think is….I LOVE HIM! ❤️ FML ? ~KJM dropping Chapter 5 on Temptation Tuesday. What is so memorable about fools in love? Is it that they are in love or that they are f*cking fools! ??♀️
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