Year 2017. It is currently 4am. I am exhausted but I want to complete this series. This is the only time I have to write. 2017 was much like this morning…exhausting. I ended 2016 and began 2017 in San Francisco. It was a great start to the year with some 2016 feelings.? My hair was bone straight with a huge part to the side that covered my right eye. I was in full swing of experimenting with lipstick colors from Urban Decay (JUNKIE), NYX (DISORDERLY CHAOTIQUE), Mac Cosmetics (BLUE BANG made its premiere), and Too Faced Cosmetics (WICKED)! My skin was glowing from coast to coast. ? I felt sexy. And I was just that. SEXY! ?? Little did I know how painful 2017 (and 2018) was going to be. This chapter is quick and painful just like the year. Once back on the East Coast, my work schedule got so crazy that I was working over 90 hours a week. Knowing what was ahead of me and the work commitment I had made, I told the Ex Factor that he could leave me for I now had no time for dating (especially fake dating a f*ck boy). Ouch! This may sound like bitterness but it really isn’t. It was and is a fair assessment after I tell you how he emotionally/verbally dragged me through the year. ? Back to 2017. I told him he could leave me and date other women BUT he can’t date me AND them! And I meant every word. Work had to come first. The Ex Factor said he had no desire to leave me and would work with my hectic schedule. ??♀️ This was the year that the Ex Factor lost the ability to even make me happy for an hour. Even if I f*cked him (I guess out of habit), I would immediately be disgusted with him first AND then with myself next. 2017 was the year I started to loathe him!!! ? Why? Oh let me tell you why! On top of a crazy work schedule, my father was battling cancer! ?❤️ The day before my Daddy’s surgery, I asked the Ex Factor if he was waiting on a better love to do right by because he sure wasn’t doing right by me!!! This motherfucker (I am not going to bleep out this curse word because he fucking earned it) had the nerve to tell me that he has NEVER been IN love with anyone but has love for me?!!! Motherfucker what?! Motherfucker who?! This is the same bitch that stayed with your broke trifling ass for YEARS and still treated you well! And to hit me with such news the day before my dad’s surgery (which I had recently told him about)!!!! What trash! I was in love with trash! I am now vacationing at Fuck Boy nation. ??♀️ I dropped one tear (privately) and then I told that lazy not even good for a fuck motherfucker that I don’t give a damn about love or no love but his ass better be there for me on the day of my dad’s surgery or there will be blood! ??? I don’t play when it comes to my family! My whole body became numb but my spirit was on fire!!! ??? From that moment on, I started to lose respect for him and tried to escape the mess I found myself in. I am ashamed there is even a Chapter 9 (Year 2018) with this fool! ??? Before I forget, the Ex Factor did check in on the day of my dad’s surgery but I didn’t need him. A male friend and I texted all day from the moment my family and I drove to upstate New York (where the surgery was taking place) up until my dad was in recovery! I cannot thank my male friend (who lives in DC) and all my other friends who held me down during this difficult time! To God Be the Glory…my father is still in remission! ?????? After Daddy was okay, I continued my solo travels and ended up going to Vegas THREE times this year! I ended 2017 and started off 2018 in Vegas with Harmony. Despite his taking back his I love you (he really could have kept that fake shit in the first place), the Ex Factor latched on like any abuser would to his victim! What a fucking year! ~KJM dropping Chapter Eight on Flashback Friday. This was by far the hardest chapter to write because clearly I was not loving myself enough to escape this fool. Currently, I am writing you from a wiser and stronger place. What does not kill us often times does make us stronger. Oh one more thing, a man who treats a woman like this is not one fit to lead for he is no man…just a boy. And this is clearly someone who doesn’t love himself because for the first time since I met him in 2010, I finally saw him…the way he saw himself…a boy not worthy of me (or any good woman for that fact)!!! I really hope and pray he does better and grows up. It would break my heart if I heard that another woman had to go through what I did…just like it did when Julio told me how horrible he had been to his ex girlfriends and ex fiancés! ???♀️ IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: this is the year Willow and my friendship really started to fall apart. She was NOT there for me when I needed her. I visited Chicago TWICE the year before to support her on a risky pregnancy and her postpartum. Where were you when my Dad was battling cancer? I barely got calls much less texts. If you are reading this, you should never wonder why we are no longer friends…
Recent Comments