It’s been a while since we have taking a spin through the Land Of Pimps And Hoes (Corporate America). Well hold on as we roll through my hood…OG (Original Gangsta) style! We all have them and for the most part…we all hate them…COWORKERS! Great coworkers can make even the most unbearable job…comfortable. Bad coworkers, however, can turn even the most pleasant places of employment into spirit sucking traps! My job is probably somewhere in the middle of that. Not the worst but always a constant reminder that I need more out of life. Here are the top 10 Things Coworkers do that almost makes me want to catch the Holy Ghost (And not in a good way) at work: 10. DO YOU EVER FUCKING WORK? I am working with a male coworker right now that only works 20% of the time yet makes the same amount of money as me! While I’m busting my ass…he’s on break after break eating snacks after snacks! What the fuck?! Worst part of it is my boss sees it and says nothing directly to him. I get so frustrated but what can I do? Except say SAT down sir and do some work before I catch the Holy Ghost!✌?️9. MISS I NEED TO SMELL YOUR FOOD AND ANNOUNCE WHAT YOU ARE EATING! Do I really need to tell this biatch that it’s fucking rude to be sniffing people’s food? And then to announce it?! Bitch why? Yea fuck saying biatch! SAT yourself down bitch before the next thing in my lunch bag is SHIT! ✌?️ 8. PICKING THEIR SKIN AND DARE I SAY IT…FLICKING DEAD SKIN?! I need a second before I can tackle this one. Perhaps a moment of silence before I lose it! If you sit right next to your coworkers, please do not pick ANYTHING off your body and flick it! This includes boogers! I’m so fucking grossed out that you need to SAT down twice!✌?️7. MISTER BOOGERS ALWAYS HANGING OUT HIS NOSE! It’s a huge turn off when I’m having a business lunch or having lunch with coworkers and there is a huge booger hanging out their nose. No I don’t want dressing for my salad! I need to be able to clearly see what the true ingredients were and what was just added by my nasty ass coworker! I know that sometimes shit happens and boogers surprise us but come on….some of you never check your nose! SAT down for real!✌?️ 6. THE GOSSIP! Ugh this one is one of the worst because he/she breathes such negativity into the work place. There’s always that one coworker that finds time each day to go around and spread other people’s business! SAT your ass down! You should be fired on the spot but as luck would have it…you are usually efficient when you are actually at your desk! After you SAT…get your ass back to your desk and do some motherfucking work before I lose it! ✌?️ 5. THE KISS ASS! This one’s head is so far up my boss’s head…I don’t even have a chance to tell her SAT down! I will just have to catch her on the way to the bathroom to relay the message! Everyone has to pee…even the Kiss Ass! How bout you SAT down in stall 1 and 2 while you there! ✌?️ 4. MISS KNOW IT ALL! I hate asking my boss a question and a coworker responds before my boss can. Is your name manager?! Better yet let me see your paycheck! Yea…that’s what I thought…we are still in the same pay grade! How about you SAT your ass down because not only are you NOT my boss but most of your responses are incorrect! ✌?️ 3. THE ANNOYING VOICE! This one I feel bad about because sometimes this coworker is super sweet. It’s just their voice sounds like fingernails against a chalk board!? I’m going to need you to SAT down QUIETLY! I got a fucking headache! ✌?️ 2. SMELLY! We all have coworkers who refuse to shower and/or brush their teeth. Yea that’s all I need to smell…a dead animal crawling out your mouth covered by…COFFEE! Bitch you tried it! My eye liner is running and I’m having a full blown allergic reaction to you! SAT your smelly ass down and wait for my doctor’s bill! ✌?️ 1. THE PERVERT! Out of all the culprit coworkers…this one is setting himself up to be fired FIRST and doing jail time SECOND! Female coworkers are not there for your personal pleasure and FYI ain’t nobody checking for your nasty ass at work no way! I don’t like you undressing me with your eyes, making inappropriate statements, and making sounds as I walk by! You are truly disgusting sir! I want you to SAT your ass down but not just anywhere….in a jail cell with Big Bubba as your cellmate…who loves him so you! You guessed it…he’s going to make overt unwanted advances at you whether you like it or not. Oh you SATTING DOWN now while covering your asshole?! ✌?️ ~KJM welcoming you guys back to the Land Of Pimps And Hoes on this Hump Day Wednesday! Toi, thanks for introducing me to “SAT DOWN.” I was rolling as I typed each one!?
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