One of my 2017 goals for this blog is to start consulting women on how they can effectively say no in their personal and professional lives without feeling like a bitch. In one of my previous blogs, I spoke about how women are lagging way behind men (career wise) because we do not negotiate for ourselves like men do. There are also many other factors that contribute to why men are still making more than us but when we fail to demand what we are worth…we are cut short even if we are in a position to make more. Listen up because today’s blog will be very helpful! Society tells a man that he must demand respect and go after what he wants. When we women do it…we are called aggressive bitches! First thing we have to do is drop the stigma that because we are going after what we want assertively…that we are bad people! Growing up, I watched my mom over extend her mind, body, spirit, and money to her side of the family and her tacky ass never having a good job (or any job) friends! ? I vowed never to try to please anyone to my detriment except myself…and pleasing myself will rarely lead to my detriment! ?? If someone does not like how I handle a situation…tough for them because I’m going to always do me! This is exactly why my favorite word is NO! I do not hesitate to put folks in their place when they are imposing unreasonable demands on me…professionally and personally! Yes I have been called aggressive my entire life but I’ve learned to see that as a compliment! Because I stand up for myself…I am aggressive?! ✌? That sure sounds better than being a doormat! I have no desire to please anyone but myself and it shows…even in my walk! ?? So why do many women have a hard time saying no to those around them? 1. Society tells us we should be polite and by polite they mean…always put others first before ourselves! Oh hell naw! ?2. Our nature is to nurture…everyone but ourselves! 3. We have a fear of not being liked! And 4. It makes us uncomfortable to be so confrontational! This is why many of us have the men in our lives negotiate and handle sticky situations for us! ?I am sure each woman also has some unique reasons for not wanting to say no to others but those 4 are the most common themes I have seen. Ladies, this year we have to do better! 2017 is the YEAR OF NO to anything that does not serve a positive purpose in our lives! We have to stand up for ourselves! And I promise you the more you assert yourselves…is the more the universe will deliver what you demand! ?? If I haven’t convinced you to make a change yet…here’s an example of what too many YESes will do to your lives! We bought our first house when I was 14 years old! I hated living in an apartment as a child and was so excited for the positive change! Well my mama ruined that experience for us all by taking in every stray relative and friend! ? Some of them even robbed us on the way out! I am still surprised we have our kitchen sink! ? Bumb bitches (girls and guys not doing a thing with their lives) don’t give a fuck! They will wear your draws, not say thank you, rob you, and then diss you to everyone they know! ? No matter how my immediate family suffered…my mother would keep helping people who would never lift a hand to help her if she was in need…pissing my father off every step of the way. ? We all could not understand her motive! We could see the users from a mile away…yet she would choose only to look for the good in them…even if they robbed her last time! ? Do not be Mama Michaels!!! Yo if you are on your face and I have a couple of extra bucks…I will send it to you but you cannot come live with me and my family! That’s my family and my house is the place I am the most vulnerable at!!! Their happiness means way more to me than anyone else’s happiness! I won’t jeopardize that peace and tranquility for others…don’t give a fuck who you are! You cannot live off of me! ?? You better take this here 5 dollars and beat it…never expecting more! Leeches! But I digress! ? What are some situations where you find it difficult to say no? Please let me know and as the year goes on…I will address how I would effectively turn down offers that drain my mind, body, and spirit! ~KJM blogging on the subway on this Flashback Friday! One NO can start you on a new life track!?? Assert yourselves…don’t lose yourselves!
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