I am not sure if it’s because the economy got a boost over President Obama’s two terms or if people done lost their got damn minds but I’m noticing a nasty pattern when dealing with customer service representatives. PISS POOR customer service is what I’ve been receiving…that is until I lose it on someone and they get some act right! ? It’s like no one is afraid of losing their jobs nor of not being able to pay their rent! ? Folks, barely know how to do their jobs or barely care to do it. Now I’m not referring to the people that have job security like those who work for the Federal Government. And I’m not even speaking about the same assholes who have worked for the DMV ? since I was a teenager and don’t give a fuck about whether my car gets registered there or if the police pulls my ass in for an expired registration and then my car finally has to get registered…not those special assholes. You know they just plain old don’t give a fuck! ??? How nice job security must be! ?? I am talking to the rest of those jerk offs that aren’t in a position to lose their jobs and should care about the customer service they provide! Yes….YOU! ?? I am just going to tell your asses this ONE time! Here are the top 5 Customer Service Fuck Ups I have recently observed: 5. THE MS I CANNOT DO THAT REP! In my industry, the CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! And even though we are all well aware that some customers are ass wipes themselves (yes you cussing out the McDonald’s cashier over a 59 cent burger)…to make sure that our coins never come up short…and that we do not ruin our company’s reputation…we tell y’all that you are right and get the unforeseeable and the impossible done! We make the impossible POSSIBLE! ?? That is good customer service. For some reason, there are folks in customer service who did not learn this rule! ? If I had the power to fire your ass on the spot…I sure the fuck would! But since I don’t…I’m just going to school you. Ms I Cannot Do That….yes the fuck you can and you damn sure will!!! If I tell your ass to part the Red Sea and then pass me a glass of water…you sure will! And if you don’t…well how about you hop your useless self off of the line and get your manager on the phone! Perhaps she is from the customer service school of the hard knocks! ?? 4. MR I AM NOT NEW TO MY JOB BUT I STILL DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY DO IT! ? Now someone done F’ed up in your initial training because how the hell have you been doing this same job for 5 years but you have no clue how to actually do it?! Who the hell did you sleep with to get here because your ass don’t even know how to punch a few buttons?! ?To add insult to injury, you have been doing the same job for FIVE YEARS with no promotion (thank goodness)! But that in itself tells me sooo much! The next time I speak to a customer service representative…the first two questions I’m going to ask are (1) how long have you been doing this job? And (2) Were you ever promoted?! Those two questions right there should tell me a lot about who I am speaking with! ✌?3. MS YOU (OR YOUR COMPANY) FUCKED UP BUT YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH THE CUSTOMER! I’m not sure what kind of rock you slithered from under nor which one of your funky armpits you are currently smelling but I’m gonna need you to get right…QUICK! I don’t care if your husband just left you nor if your dog died….don’t bring that shit to work! ? A customer does not want any of your lip service…they just want good customer service! Now I don’t care how loud the customer gets…you have no right to match their tone! If you are correctly doing your job, you should be able to diffuse the situation quickly or be able to get your manager…whom I hope has more home training and enough intelligence to know that a customer’s rants is not enough for him to lose his job! ✌? 2. MR MISSING IN ACTION SO LONG I THOUGHT HE GOT FIRED AND REHIRED AGAIN! It’s the worst feeling when you desperately need to speak to someone about an issue you are having and they put you on hold…forever! Even worse, when you waiter disappears after taking your order and comes back what feels like two hours later…in an unpacked restaurant…without your food…and now asking you to repeat what you originally ordered because they forgot to put your order in! Lawd a mercy! This has really happened to me! Who is running this institution?! Did y’all just set up shop yesterday?! These folks should be straight up unemployed….that way the public can remain safe from stupidity with good customer service! ✌?1. MS I HATE MY JOB! Well shit…I hate mine too! However, it’s a blessing to be working. If you do not feel that way…hop your ass on the unemployment line then! There are plenty of people who would kill to have your job…no matter how crappy it is! Either act right or get fired! Nobody and I mean nobody has time for this behavior! ✌?~KJM on Charm School Monday ???