Sometimes we forget what people truly mean to us…until there is a special moment that reminds us. That moment makes love to our minds and sets our spirit free! ?? I had such a moment with the Ex Factor Monday evening. As we were sitting down and hashing out all the things I’m unhappy with…we actually listened to each other. For the first time since June, I saw a glimpse of the man I fell in love with years ago. Two things I got out of our discussion: 1. He is not intentionally trying to hurt me and 2. Perhaps sometimes I’m looking to be unhappy instead of keeping in mind that both he and I are doing the best we can. I have written before about the dangers of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy when it comes to unhappiness. I guess I forgot to remind myself of this very valuable lesson. ? I get so wrapped up in the things I feel I am not getting from him instead of being thankful for some of the wonderful things he brings to the table. My brother recently told me that my personality is that of “Debow” from the movie “Friday!” ??? Funny…because I always thought I’m peacefully easy going! ? Guess not. I always feel like other women are getting romanced and loved more than me! So I complain!!! Forgetting that almost monthly, I have to ask the Ex Factor to forgive me for some petty shit I have recently done…and he does! ?? Yet I do not let go a thing when he fucks up. I put together a torture plan and then I execute! ? Guess my definition of easygoing is distorted. ? My brother said he’s actually surprised the Ex Factor has not ran away! ?Chill Junior…chill! ✌?Don’t give the Ex Factor any ideas. lol. It is not my intention to be one of those women who is never satisfied. Not my intention at all. So I’m working on it. After our long discussion, I went to wash the number 2 train off of me (see Tuesday’s blog for explanation), then I cuddled with my baby. And that’s when it happened…he kissed me and I instantly remembered why I chose him over Julio and Phoenix in summer 2010. There was still something about him that would draw me back…entice me to grow and be a better woman and a better spouse. ? Gently, I kissed him back and all of a sudden…I could remember our first kiss! It was July 2010, and we had been going on 4 or 5 dates each week…for a month. During that time, the Ex Factor had never attempted to kiss me. Part of that may be because before our first official date, I ran down the rules of dating a grown woman. Rules: keep your hands to yourself, do not find your tongue going down my throat without my permission, and wait for the green light to kiss me. He asked how would he know the light was green? I told him it would be so green….he would not be able to confuse it with any other color. Think Jolly Green Giant green! ? After a month of great dates and me noticing that I was climaxing just by being in his presence (first time that had ever happened with a man)…I tackled him in the parking lot after one of our day dates. ? There he stood…almost 7 feet tall about to hug me…and I kissed him and then bit his neck! ? Sexy! He has never had to wait for the green light ever since…we lay together in a sea of sexually seducing green! ?? The Ex Factor had me way before our first kiss but right there in his kiss…my love for him was reaffirmed. And our love continues to grow.? ~KJM on Throwback Thursday. Yea…I definitely turned somebody’s son out! ??? And yes this blog is bipolar as fuck lol I can love and hate him all in one day! ? Love you baby ???
