Employment Archives - Page 3 of 6 - Kingston Expressions

The Art Of Effectively Saying Hell No

January 27, 2017 by admin

One of my 2017 goals for this blog is to start consulting women on how they can effectively say no in their personal and professional lives without feeling like a bitch. In one of my previous blogs, I spoke about how women are lagging way behind men (career wise) because we do not negotiate for ourselves like men do. There are also many other factors that contribute to why men are still making more than us but when we fail to demand what we are worth…we are cut short even if we are in a position to make more. Listen up because today’s blog will be very helpful! Society tells a man that he must demand respect and go after what he wants. When we women do it…we are called aggressive bitches! First thing we have to do is drop the stigma that because we are going after what we want assertively…that we are bad people! Growing up, I watched my mom over extend her mind, body, spirit, and money to her side of the family and her tacky ass never having a good job (or any job) friends! ? I vowed never to try to please anyone to my detriment except myself…and pleasing myself will rarely lead to my detriment! ?? If someone does not like how I handle a situation…tough for them because I’m going to always do me! This is exactly why my favorite word is NO! I do not hesitate to put folks in their place when they are imposing unreasonable demands on me…professionally and personally! Yes I have been called aggressive my entire life but I’ve learned to see that as a compliment! Because I stand up for myself…I am aggressive?! ✌? That sure sounds better than being a doormat! I have no desire to please anyone but myself and it shows…even in my walk! ?? So why do many women have a hard time saying no to those around them? 1. Society tells us we should be polite and by polite they mean…always put others first before ourselves! Oh hell naw! ?2. Our nature is to nurture…everyone but ourselves! 3. We have a fear of not being liked! And 4. It makes us uncomfortable to be so confrontational! This is why many of us have the men in our lives negotiate and handle sticky situations for us! ?I am sure each woman also has some unique reasons for not wanting to say no to others but those 4 are the most common themes I have seen. Ladies, this year we have to do better! 2017 is the YEAR OF NO to anything that does not serve a positive purpose in our lives! We have to stand up for ourselves! And I promise you the more you assert yourselves…is the more the universe will deliver what you demand! ?? If I haven’t convinced you to make a change yet…here’s an example of what too many YESes will do to your lives! We bought our first house when I was 14 years old! I hated living in an apartment as a child and was so excited for the positive change! Well my mama ruined that experience for us all by taking in every stray relative and friend! ? Some of them even robbed us on the way out! I am still surprised we have our kitchen sink! ? Bumb bitches (girls and guys not doing a thing with their lives) don’t give a fuck! They will wear your draws, not say thank you, rob you, and then diss you to everyone they know! ? No matter how my immediate family suffered…my mother would keep helping people who would never lift a hand to help her if she was in need…pissing my father off every step of the way. ? We all could not understand her motive! We could see the users from a mile away…yet she would choose only to look for the good in them…even if they robbed her last time! ? Do not be Mama Michaels!!! Yo if you are on your face and I have a couple of extra bucks…I will send it to you but you cannot come live with me and my family! That’s my family and my house is the place I am the most vulnerable at!!! Their happiness means way more to me than anyone else’s happiness! I won’t jeopardize that peace and tranquility for others…don’t give a fuck who you are! You cannot live off of me! ?? You better take this here 5 dollars and beat it…never expecting more! Leeches! But I digress! ? What are some situations where you find it difficult to say no? Please let me know and as the year goes on…I will address how I would effectively turn down offers that drain my mind, body, and spirit! ~KJM blogging on the subway on this Flashback Friday! One NO can start you on a new life track!?? Assert yourselves…don’t lose yourselves!

Oh We Are Back In The Land Of Pimps And Hoes (Corporate America) With The Toxic Co-Worker

January 26, 2017 by admin

It’s been awhile since we strolled the beat! Yes get your lotion out and hit those ashy ankles up because it’s time for today’s pimp lesson! It’s going to be quick and dirty! Today, I will put you on to a special type of toxic coworker! As I mentioned on my last post, my day job is currently exhausting. Not complaining…just stating a fact. I work 12 hours a day with a 3 hours commute! My current work environment is okay but it does have its bad points. I currently work with a lady I shall name Ivy…as in poison ivy! She’s much older than me and you can tell it by the 8 million dents she has in her face!!!! Ivy smiles all the time but I can tell she does not like me. Now pay attention! ??She is always asking me questions and can run down my schedule better than I can. I can tell right off the bat Ivy has no man nor woman waiting at home for her. Her demeanor says she’s bitter…the world swallowed her up and it shows! Instead of getting her life together, she focused on being jealous of other people. How do I know this? Because everything I say…she challenges and puts a negative spin on. For example, I mentioned that I just got my wisdom teeth pulled and she immediately says that some folks love the pain medications because they are addicted to them. I reply…I didn’t take 60% of my pain medications and opted for the pain because my body does not like the feel of pain medications like Percocet and Vicodin! I am no drug addict lady! ✌?Then I said I love going to Vegas and she immediately questions whether I gamble too much! Nope…old hag…I’m not addicted to gambling…don’t even like it. ✌?The most I typically gamble in Vegas is 6 bucks my entire trip! That shocked Ivy. I think it irks her that I carry myself well and I don’t doubt myself. Now you may think I’m jumping to assumptions but if you do not take anything else away from this blog…take this….TRUST YOUR GUT! My intuition tells me that Ivy gets off on playing mind games and thrives off of thinking she is outsmarting everyone. She hangs on to my every word yet discloses very little about herself. As a matter of fact, my other coworker (that sits next to us) avoids speaking with Ivy at all costs. My gut tells me that Ivy is miserable and likes to make others feel the same. The thing that makes her so dangerous is…she does everything with a nasty witch smile! ? I have decided that in the next couple of months, I will limit my interactions with her. And if she does manage to suck me into her negativity…I will simply smile and turn the questions to her (as if I really care about her life lol). Moral of the story is…on the way to pimp street (being a boss or owning your own business) there is no honor among hoes! Most folks have the crab mentality and will try to drag you down! Do not let them encourage you to doubt your work and your life! Keep being confident! No time for poison ivy! ✌???✌?Put that crab where she belongs…at the bottom of the barrel…the place where she earned her position best! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying…never get too comfortable in the land of pimps and hoes. No matter how much they smile…remember…it’s a jungle out there! ?

Tech Issues: Blog Under Construction

January 11, 2017 by admin

I haven’t forgetton about you guys! For the last couple days, I have been diligently working on securing my site so that it’s safer for you all and working on some major tech issues! I shall get back to writing soon! Thank you all for your patience and your support! ~KJM on Hump Day ?

Rock The Vote!

November 8, 2016 by admin

Podcast Episode 8 will be dropping later this week! I decided to hold off until after the election is over! I just voted and I hope you did too! #imwithher ~KJM on Election Tuesday

All 7 Episodes Now On iTunes!!

November 4, 2016 by admin

All 7 of Kingston Expressions Podcast Episodes are now available on iTunes! Please share! Shout to my performers: Alexis Skyy, Scarlet, Grace, Nicole, Lioness, and Toi from ToiTime, my Producer (Loyalist), my Engineer (ANS Studios), and Davincii Productions for the beats!?? ~KJM saying thank you to all on Flashback Friday

Back To The Land Of Pimps And Hoes (Corporate America): The Pray For My Enemies Edition

October 27, 2016 by admin

I have been working in this country since I was 14 years old. And even with all of my time in Corporate America….I’m still just a hoe to them. Someone who works their asses off and shows up…even when my body gives out…yet I’m treated in such a shitty manner. There are people who are lazy as fuck at work but because they kiss ass when management is in the room…they are rewarded and promoted. And thus…a sea of unqualified, power hungry, disrespectful, LAZY, and useless Pimps are born and we must now call them BOSSES!?Follow me carefully because I’m about to rip into someone right now. You know who you are and you certainly deserve this shout out. Yup you…use to be a hoe but now made a pimp off of the blood, sweat, and tears of hardworking employees. But wait let me catch y’all up! I loathe my day job….absolutely hate it…yet I work my ass off because I was always taught that even if I worked at McDonald’s…I should take pride in all I do…work my way up (honestly) from mopping the floor to being the best fries maker to cashier! That is the stock I was raised on! ?? Yet some folks were raised the opposite…to do the bare minimum at work, pretend to work hard enough in front of their bosses, and then stab some good employees in the back so they can crawl up the corporate ladder. This is one of the worst Pimps. Some employees are lazy and complacent but it’s when these same lazy people get put in a position of power do I take serious issue with it! Did I mention how much I hate my day job?! Yesterday, after being at my company for over a year and only getting stellar reviews for my work from business project to business project…I found out that a female assistant manager had been bad mouthing me to other managers in order to keep me from a promotion in pay! I was stunned for two reasons…1. I’m pretty high in demand for my company and generally requested by managers and clients to be on their team and 2. This was the one and only time I’ve worked for this lazy bitch in which during the course of two months I’ve spoken to her no more than twice (because I do not like her lack of professionalism…from the cursing at employees to firing them for any reason she can find to the degrading of everyone in sight that she can. I do not tolerate disrespect so I stayed out of her way (I had a male manager I could go to that I have worked for before and had a good repore with until this particular project because he allowed the female manager to mistreat most of us) and off her radar or so I thought… The interesting thing is she was the worst manager I have ever had at this company! Lazy….always late…refused to answer questions…disrespectful to anyone who was not in a managerial position and the list goes on. Did I mention she has a bad reputation amongst her peers and employees?! I was specifically told by many people to limit my interactions with her before I ever even laid eyes on her! I can only think that she must give great blow jobs to have been TEMPORARILY promoted to assistant manager because it certainly cannot be for her work ethics, great communication skills, and natural born leadership skills! No definitely not! Nothing like a great blow job to rise to the top in the land of pimps and hoes! No wonder that’s not my thing! I am a woman who works my ass off at everything I do! So bitch you certainly tried it! ✌?️ I still did receive my increase in pay but only because the manager above her (unbeknownst to her) had worked with me several times over the course of the last year and knows the quality of the work I do first hand!?? Yea bitch you really tried it! Even if you do not care for my personality…at least respect my hustle! You tried to take bread out of my mouth! But GOD is able! All I can do is pray for you. Matter fact…you are probably too lazy to have sucked your way to the top…you are probably one of those let them bust in your face type of hoes!✌?️ Miss me with all of that! Yesterday I was almost reduced to tears because the truth is…no matter how hard you work in corporate America…especially if you are black…one person can say a bad word about you and it can wreck your career! The years of hard work will not matter! You are now just a dried up…washed up…useless hoe to them and the lazy pimps continue to thrive! The message in all of this ladies and gentlemen?! Get your coins up and try to always have something that is JUST YOURS. When you have your own company…you will no longer be a hoe that just anyone can degrade whenever they feel like! Now I know not everyone has the entrepreneurial spirit (I certainly did not know I had it until I started this blog) but even if you don’t…promise me that you will not invest in someone else’s job/company more than you do in yourself! Corporate America is just about how good you are to them TODAY! No one cares about your 20 years of hard work for a company! No one cares about the early mornings and late nights you worked. No one cares about the holidays you worked! No one cares about the times you missed out on spending with your loved ones! NO ONE GIVES A FUCK POINT BLANK! Remember that! The hoe is only good to the pimp when he says so. When she’s sick or tired…he will beat her ass and perhaps even go as far as replacing her with another hoe! Never forget that! Please don’t! Lastly, I thought about not writing this piece today but I still boldly did so because I’m writing for all the people discriminated against, harassed, put down, disrespected, and kicked in the face everyday at work! Someone has to take a stand for us! While my message to Corporate America (about hiring folks that not only aren’t good at their jobs but are opening them up to lawsuits) will probably fall on deaf ears…I pray my message to you will not! ~KJM wiping the ash off my ankles before I get back on the beat with all the other hoes…on Throwback Thursday! Jesus be a fence because I’m in need of positive change in my career! ??????

Never Let People Get Comfortable Disrespecting You (Serenity Equals Respect Edition)

October 23, 2016 by admin

I always tell people to never get too comfortable with me…whether I have known them for 20 minutes or 20 years! The Gemini, by cosmic definition, is always changing. We can be filled with one emotion at a certain time and in the next moment…we feel another emotion…very deeply. Both emotions are real to us. We are not two faced nor fickle! The Gemini is an adventurer who is ever changing. This concept sometimes pisses folks off but if they just realized that respect is essential to the Gemini…they wouldn’t get caught off guard when we hand them their asses when they cross the line! Boundaries are so important to us. I am almost certain we set them from birth! And that’s all the more reason why we do not hesitate to cut off most folks (if not all) that cannot understand our need to be respected. Now to the story that inspired this blog. This past Friday evening I had one hour left at work. I have worked very closely with a group of people for the last two months and this was our final night working together. We were all suppose to grab a drink after work (which I typically do not do with coworkers). Then the asshole moment of the evening occurred. One of the guys in the group cursed at me and told me to mind my fucking business when I (along with the group) were making funny comments about his lack of awareness of others when driving. I was not the only one commenting but I was the only one cursed at! I guess in his eyes, he felt like he was joking, but in my eyes it just didn’t fucking matter! I do not let anyone….especially MEN….curse at me!!! Jesus be fence because I felt like I was about to jump over my desk and smack the shit out of him! I seriously do not play like that! Never have I cursed at him nor given him the indication that we were friends! Only one lady in the group actually has my phone number! I tell folks all the time…I’m friendly (at work…don’t catch me outside of work) but I’m not nice! Only a few people at the table heard his response to me because it all happened so quickly and in the midst of several conversations going on at once. I literally had to leave the room before I exploded! You see I AM A LADY AND I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO THAT WAY! I said this to him before I exited the room. With my blood boiling…I went to our front desk and spoke with another coworker about the incident and then… I became calm. Until this blog takes off, I do need my day job…so setting it off at my place of employment would not be a good look! Breathe in! Breathe out! That’s all I could do repeatedly. After a few minutes I returned to the room and then left again because I was still pissed! Now back for the final few minutes of the night…I finished up my work as the others talked excitedly and when the fool was getting up to leave…he did apologize! The only thing I said is I appreciate the apology. But y’all know I wasn’t ready to accept it! You see he hit a nerve! I grew up watching the women in my family get disrespected verbally and physically by their boyfriends and husbands! I always vowed never to be in such a disrespectful situation! That’s why it broke my heart when I cursed the Ex Factor out back in August! In all my dating life, I made sure never to curse at any guy while dating them and made sure the only thing they ever called me was my government name! Now once we break up….it’s all fair game if he is acting a fool!?? But I digress….I just do not want to repeat this ugly cycle! So when a man launches a curse word at me…I lose it! I’m not sure why this coworker found himself so comfortable with me. Point blank…he shouldn’t have! My loyalty is to myself and my well being! I think sometimes folks fall and bump their heads (like in this situation) and other times, we make it easy for people to disrespect us! I simply won’t tolerate it…especially in the work place! Serenity equals respect! Set those boundaries and let people know when they cross them. If you aren’t comfortable voicing it…try not to deal with them again once you notice that they love to serve up disrespect! Life is just too short to have people draining the essence of your being out of you while devaluing you! I know this is easier said than done with friends, lovers, and family but always remember that Serenity equals respect and respect equals peace! There is nothing like a peace of mind! ~KJM on what is now Serenity Sunday?

Breaking Up Is Expensive (The Me And Mr. Wrong Got A Thing Going On Edition)

October 21, 2016 by admin

I generally do not get IG-NANT (yes I meant to say ignorant just that way) on Flashback Friday but there’s no time like the present to tackle this foolishness! Today I share my views of Mary J. Blige’s soon to be ex husband’s (Kendu) itemized spousal support request. Now I’m going to leave the legal analysis of each amount to both their legal teams. My only goal today is to rip in his ass the new asshole I hope Mary’s legal team leaves him with! I know the men reading this are going to side eye me for this blog but let me be clear…even when wives are requesting outlandish things during their divorce…I have something to say! So miss me with the if the shoe was on the other foot shit!✌?️I believe spousal support should just be for the needed things…like taking care of children (the payers children) but we will get back to that soon! I do not support a woman asking for money for expensive outfits and big houses (unless they got lots of children) during a divorce. And typically the wife in the situation is a stay at home mom who possibly gave up a career to be there for her husband and her children! But before I even get carried away with this fuckery…let’s attack this list from Mary’s eyes! Here is the break down of the almost 130,000 a month Kendu is requesting: 8. 8,000 FOR A PRIVATE CHEF (The Not Gonna Cry Editon)! Now Mary why you allow his ass to eat well during your 12 years of marriage?! You (the bread winner) should have had his ass consistently eating the tuna in a can…you met him eating! Private Chef my ass! MFer better learn how to heat up some Oodles Of Noodles and downgrade from steak and lobster cause Mary taking that shit with her! And you might as well break out the Boone’s cheap liquor because there will be no more fine dining and expensive wine tastings! Get thee to a well in Maine and fill some jugs up of that free water because I’m not playing with your ass no more!✌?️7. 3,200 PERSONAL TRAINER (The Reminisce Edition)! Um Kendu…remember that two speed bike you use to ride before meeting Mary?! Your ass better start riding it around the block in order to get in shape because Mary taking HER personal trainer…your ass barely used…with her! I know you don’t expect her to pay for you to get in shape for other women?! You done lost your mind! You don’t even got a body like the model Tyson or the singer Tank! Miss me with all of that! Get on that two speed and fucking ride down a hill! Okay…maybe I’m being an asshole here…Mary gonna throw in some training wheels just to show you she is reasonable!✌?️6. 1,000 CLOTHING ALLOWANCE (The Stay Down Edition)! Kendu remember when Mary met you…you use to wear FUBU? Well why the fuck can’t you continue that? The fuck you want custom made expensive shit for? FUBU is very affordable now! Mary still willing to pay for that but if you talking about Tom Ford and shit you gonna be assed out sitting on a corner rocking a Coogi Sweater! And I’m not talking about one of the throwback originals either! ✌?️5. 5,000 TO PAY EACH OF HIS PARENTS (The Family Affair Edition)! Are your folks senile? They bet the fuck be because this is some ridiculousness! Pay them for what?! And they are your fucking parents?! Why the fuck can’t you support them off your salary?! Oh that’s right…you ain’t got no job when Mary fired you as her manager! Well the paper boy told me the local newspaper looking for more paperboys…get on that motherfucking two speed (listed in number 7) and make your fucking self useful! Apply yourself and guess what….get a fucking job! Many wives have to do that after a divorce anyways…so your ass should be no different! ✌?️4. 71,000 For Rental Properties (The What’s the 411/Love No Limit Edition)! Boo, you remember the line of credit we got to buy and rent properties?! Yea…we only got that shit because I’m motherfucking Mary J. Blige! Kendu who? Not even Mary’s boys from her old neighborhood know who you are! When Mary leaves…she’s taking her line of credit with her…so that should ease the 71,000 monthly burden off of you…cause you still don’t got no job! This is a good time to say Rest In Comedic Peace Tommy from the hit show Martin! The “man you ain’t got no job” skit is still applicable in life today!? 3. 5,000 A MONTH TO SUPPORT HIS TWO CHILDREN FROM A PAST RELATIONSHIP (The YOUR Child Edition)! Now Auntie Kingston love the kids but where the fuck is their biological mama and why don’t you hit that bitch up for the 5,000 a month?! You must have just lost your fucking mind Kendu! You on drugs? You must be on that cheap stuff since the breakup happened! Remember what Auntie Whitney said before her passing…“I don’t do crack…crack is cheap!” Kendu heed Auntie Whitney Houston’s advice and get yourself to some sort of rehab (on your own dime of course)!✌?️2. 2,500 FOR AUTO EXPENSES AND TRANSPORTATION (The I’m Goin Down Edition)! Kendu….you ever heard of a BUS PASS? It’s the ultimate transportation throwback! I suggest you utilize the few dollars you have in your bank account (and not the joint one either…Mary froze that one) and invest in a bus pass! Once the two speed needs maintenance (because you rode down a hill one time too many) and you aren’t able to afford it…the bus pass will be helpful! Don’t thank me now…you can thank me later when you riding the bus all through what ever dingy city you can afford to live in…on your nonexistent income that is!✌?️ 1. 5,708 FOR MAINTENANCE AND REPAIR ON HIS PROPERTIES (The No More Drama Edition)! What properties boo? Mary selling them all! And I just told you she’s taking her line of credit with her! Kendu, in the words of the great Lauryn Hill…“it could all be so simple…but you’d rather make it hard…loving you is like a battle…and we both end up with scars.” Now Mary, I’m praying for you during this difficult time! If your lawyers can’t get these expenses down to a reasonable amount…call me! While I’m a Christian and do not believe in Obea (Jamaican version of Voodoo)….if you need me to…I know a man in the mountains of Jamaica…who can create some serious sprinkle dust ???and once he blows it in the air Kendu will feel it all the way in the US! Just kidding ? But rassclot maybe a only dat can shortin dis a list ya? ~KJM being straight IG-NANT on Flashback Friday!? My parents gonna beat the hell out of me when they learn I wrote about an Obea man lol but then again if someone was sticking me for 130,000 a month…the Michaels family may just have to look into it lol????

The Right To Assert Myself (The B*tches Get Shit Done Edition)

October 20, 2016 by admin

Time and time again I get complaints from people around me that I am AGGRESSIVE! Yet when they need to get important stuff done…I am the first person they call! ? I’m kind of the asshole and black sheep of my family. Men and women just get out of my way when they see me coming at a family gathering. ? Dramatic much?! There is no in between with me. You either love me or can’t stand my ass…either way I keep breathing, keep living, and keep being me. My words (if you have been following this blog…you already know) can cut. Like sometimes I line folks up like it’s a shooting range and I just hand them each their asses…rarely feeling like I should have been easier on them. You see I just don’t care most of the time when I am speaking my truth. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED IN ORDER TO MAKE OTHER FOLKS COMFORTABLE! ✌?️ Where did I get this “attitude” from?! Well…if you look at my baby pictures you will see that the resting bitch face has been in my life since birth. Like you could tell the people I liked verses the people I could not stand…even in my 9 month old photos. Lol. I have a couple nieces and nephews who have adopted the same face and I crack up at their pictures and yell…that’s Auntie’s baby! ? But I digress. Lol. Back to the “aggressive” issue at hand. I grew up seeing my mother, Mama Michaels, being a people pleaser. She didn’t get gangsta with her thoughts, words, and deeds until she was in her 40s? She use to keep things in and cry at home about any injustice she was experiencing in life. My Daddy, on the other hand, would tell a person to go screw themselves in a heartbeat! He wasn’t wasting one night stressing over trifling folks!✌?️ Nope not Papa Michaels! He’s the black sheep of his family too! lol. Then again so is my mom! ?What I learned from this is….being a people pleaser and letting folks walk all over you will still have them hating you the first time you say NO or cannot do something for them! That’s insane! I watched my mom bend over backwards for everyone (especially her parents) and they in turn…treated her like shit! Like if I’m going to be an outcast of the family…I at least want to do so by being myself and living my life to the fullest without letting others hinder my growth! Speaking of growth…I grew up with Papa Michaels teaching us kids that “if your right hand disrespects you…CUT IT OFFF!” I took that message to heart! So even if we have been friends for over 15 years and one day I find that you do not serve a positive purpose in my life…you are gone! I mourn you like you died…and once I’m done mourning…I move on with my life with no love nor hate for you…for you just do not exist from that point on. ✌?️That shit pisses people off…that I’m not angry and not still thinking of them!? Can’t live on my name if we part by me wishing you the best and I never speak of you again…then again some of folks would live on my name just for me exercising my right to breathe air! Hmmmm….think I am on to something. By just my race (black) and gender (female) society already has me pinned as the “angry black woman!” I use to take issue with such a title then I had an revolutionary thought…that chick gets shit done and she is no one to be fucked with! Being nice will still have folks living on your name and every damn thing you do. So like what’s the point unless being nice is your natural nature. Well it damn sure ain’t mine and y’all know that! ? If being “nice” is to your detriment….don’t fucking do it! Do not allow folks to abuse you emotionally, verbally, and physically! You have to preserve yourself and your inner spirit because if you cannot depend on yourself first…then who do you have left? Being at the mercy of others?!!! Yea…I wouldn’t try that because folks will let you done…easily…and still sleep well at night! Eureka! I just got another idea! Perhaps my “aggressiveness” is really me being ASSERTIVE! If I were a man…would society still take issue with my ability to put the smack down on bullshit?! Would anyone tell me I shouldn’t say that…I shouldn’t wear that…nor should I THINK that if I were a man?!!! These are the thoughts that fill my mind. Where some of us ASSERTIVE women go wrong sometimes is trying to argue that we aren’t aggressive. That’s like arguing with someone who just called you a bitch…that you aren’t a bitch! It’s a losing argument. They already stepped out the box and disrespected you…no need to argue with an idiot! All you can do is continue being YOU!??Maybe I am a little too blunt sometimes but if y’all don’t come for me…I sure wouldn’t come for you because I do like peace in my life. But know if you drop mess at my doorstep…you will live to regret it! I went after my education and career passionately and with that same “aggression!” So why in the world would I abandon those techniques in other aspects of my life when it brought me success in those areas? If you aren’t really hearing my message…let me put it to you this way. I am who I am from birth! Only I should decide what areas in life I need to work on. And if my “aggression” makes you uncomfortable…just don’t fuck with me. My ASSERTIVENESS is my natural nature. Some women are just built like that! I was never raised to be sweet and polite but frankly if I had been…this lifestyle blog wouldn’t read as interestingly as it does! ?? ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying I can’t wait to look at my baby pictures again and laugh about how at first glance I was a firecracker and many decades later…I still am!

A Baby Will Keep Him?!!! (The Where Do They Do That At Edition)

September 19, 2016 by admin

Okay this another one of those blogs that is going to get me side eyes, rolled eyes, and maybe a downright middle finger! But it’s Charm School Monday and I refuse to not learn a damn thing today! Now let me start off with a few disclaimers since lately folks have been up in arms thinking that I’m writing about them: 1. Reading articles, other blogs, and letters sent anonymously to the writer Zane inspired today’s post and 2. I am by far not perfect and have too been a fool for love. With that said, let’s get to tackling this foolishness! Since I’m deep into Life Style blogging I’m always reading stories on other women. In the last couple of weeks, a few common themes have been popping up that baffle the fuck out of me…even with my 20 years of dating experience. Here are the Top 4 Where The Fuck Do They Do That At…Awww Hell Naws: 4. WOMEN FIGHTING/KILLING OTHER WOMEN OVER A MAN! Girlfriend, where is your mama? Was she actively in your life because one of the first lessons she should have laid into your ass when you hit the dating phase is that NO MAN is worth losing your freedom nor your life!?? I will never understand why women blame other women (who don’t know them) for their man cheating! The man made you promises and/or took vows…not the side chick or new woman in his life! I cannot express this enough…if she is not your family or friend…that woman owes you nothing!!! CHECK YOUR MAN! I’ve been cheated on many times and never dared to have any conversation with another woman. My foot went up my man’s ass!!! Figuratively speaking of course but I’m hoping with that visual…you feel me! When I see a woman trying to fight or kill another woman over a man…I begin to think she got to have a mental illness!!! Like I need to see her diagnosed with something (not that I think that’s a good excuse as there are many mentally ill people who don’t hurt others). But it’s still hard for me to believe that a SANE woman (of any age) would be out in these cold and deadly streets trying to fight/kill over a man!!! I know being dicked whipped is a thing…SEE all my blogs about my college lover Crazy but even with Crazy sleeping with half of Penn State’s female population (while we were dating….I’m sure) I ain’t never step to no chick about him! Now some did step to me but he quickly put them in check! No real man would want to put his woman in harms way…even some dirty dogs got their limits! Ladies, get your shit together! And just go get you a new man! With that being said, Rest In Peace Kendra…another senseless act that made national headlines! Jesus be a fence for her child, family, and friends!?? 3. FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING A MAN…INDEFINITELY! Now let me say that I do not believe in financially supporting a boyfriend under almost any circumstances but I’m sure there’s some good exceptions out there. For me to hand over my hard earned coins to a man…he better be related to me or be my husband who has had my back through thick and thin! Some women love to baby their men to the point they cutting up his meat at dinner and buying the draws he wears! When y’all going to learn to let a man be a man? Then these same crazy and controlling women get mad…years later…when that same man is too lazy to work, take care of his children, AND fuck them! Well what did you expect? You were raising a boy and you shouldn’t have been raising anyone!!! If my man is temporarily on his face and he’s working hard to get back on his feet then I got him but I’m not going to be no damn ATM permanently for him nor am I going to keep making excuses for him when he isn’t willingly pulling his weight! Hold onto your hats for this one…some women even support their man’s cheating habits!!! Seriously, where the fuck do they do that at?! If he ain’t got no job, lives with you, and got time to cheat…guess who is footing the bill for all of that fuckery?!!! YOU! Just go SAT down somewhere because you are really embarrassing the female gender right now! Making it look like we don’t know a cock from a hole!!!! 2. MOVING A MAN INTO YOUR PLACE! Now I would never marry a man who I didn’t live with first! However, if I was seriously dating a man, we already talked about marriage, and we now decided the time was right to move in together…we would have to find OUR place. If either one of us already owned property, this may end up being a different scenario because in this current housing market, depending on where you live, selling a house isn’t easy much less the stress of buying another one. And if he’s a home owner…chances are you are dealing with an independent man. I’m not speaking about those men. I’m talking about the ones that just left their mama’s house or their last girlfriend’s house AND have never lived alone! A man should always be a man and have his own. He should have learned to pay bills and balance his checkbook long before you move in with him! If a man has never been independent…then living off of you will be easy! Now I’m not saying there aren’t things we as women will still have to teach men…but if you shacked up with one that can’t teach you a damn thing….you really living with your SON! ??1. HAVING BABIES IN HOPES OF KEEPING A MAN! Now this one really blows my fucking mind! It’s 2016 and there are still women out there who think having a child for a man will guarantee he will be theirs forever?! Where do they really do that at?! I try not to judge but when I see a woman with 4, 5, or more different baby daddies…I stop in my tracks! Or even if you have the same father for all the kids…you on baby number 6 for him…yet he never even took care of baby number 1?! Y’all must think I’m stuck on stupid! One child equals one mistake for a man that’s a deadbeat! Newsflash…a baby is one of the fastest ways to lose a man…not that a woman’s sole purpose in life should be keeping a man. What I’m learning from the current state of reality tv is you could be the “baddest bitch” and have cum coming out your ears while you go front ways and side ways with every chick your man suggests…and his ass will still cheat and/or leave you! What makes a man love and respect a woman…only that man knows. No level of freakiness nor a baby is going to force him to stay! What kills me is when these same women throw shade on Father’s Day knowing damn well from the jump they were laying with a deadbeat!!!! “Y’all gon make me lose my mind up in here!” ~KJM on Charm School Monday dropping knowledge! And don’t think all of these hell naws apply to only young women! I know some grown ass women about this life and then some! Smdh!??