Archives for October 2019
World Mental Health Day
The Intensity Of It All
The intensity of it all…I could feel his heart beating fast. He was PRESENT and so was I. My heart was now racing. I was on top but in a rare instance…I was sharing control in the bedroom. My favorite thing is to pin him down. That way I could witness every moment of pleasure he experiences….and be certain that I and only I could bring him to this zone of ecstasy. Only I could make his heart beat inside and outside of his body….at the very instance where we become one. At least this is how I’m experiencing it….the intensity of our passion. I…can…feel him….in a way I had not felt him…in a while. He’s tasting me. Calling me. My body is answering his calls. I…am…shaking…while trying to maintain control over him. I need to be in control to feel sexually satisfied. Yet…here we are…fighting for power. ? Typically I win this battle but on this particular night…the Ex Factor did not cum to play. I…am…still shaking. Tasting him. Gently biting him. And so the battle continues. I’m turned on by his determination. I asked him what had gotten into him….and he breathlessly stated that…HE…WAS…FOCUSED! ?? Focused on me and my pleasure. ?? His mission….was to make me climax first….My mission was to FINISH HIM as if in a game of Mortal Combat!!! And so the battle ensues…. I’m riding him harder…but at the same time my body is entering a sea of climatic pleasure. I cannot believe this shit. He’s going to get me….get me to open up in a way I had not in years. Get me to be vulnerable. Get me to lose focus on my mission. Get me to really see him as my ultimate lover. I start to dig my nails into his flesh….now feverishly shaking. There was no fighting it anymore. I was at the mountain top and he had been my guide. Surreal…. He took me there and for the first time in a long while….we made love….in a kind of “I am his and he is mine” way. ?~KJM reminiscing about the last (and most recent) time the Ex Factor and I explored each other. Happy Throwback Thursday! ? True passion derives from us unselfishly aiming to please our partners in every level of life. ?
Sitting In Traffic
Sitting in traffic and have time to reveal more of myself to you. There are three months left in the year…. How are you feeling about 2019? For me…the highs were high (like my Vegas Birthday celebration) and the lows were low… financially it was a rough year. Also, I had to cut off or distance myself from some folks that I never thought I would. 2019 was definitely a better year for me than 2018 but it was definitely not my “year of arrival.” You know what I mean….that year that God blesses you in every area of life. ?? I’m still living paycheck to paycheck in a job I can’t stand…and still in a “situationship.” When it comes to end goals for a relationship…I am still not quite clear on marriage and children. Like are they for me? ??♀️ So that’s part of the reason why the Ex Factor gets away with some of the mess he does. ??♀️ BECAUSE I NEED TO BE CERTAIN ABOUT WHAT I WANT BEFORE I DEMAND IT!!!! And I need to be certain on what I’m willing to give to him AND us. Not all women are ready for a serious relationship as early as most. I AM STILL GROWING AND LEARNING. ❤️ BUT I for sure have an idea of how I want my family life, friendships, and money to run!!!! ??♀️ Guess these things are still going to take more time in God’s plan?! Sometimes I wish HE would fill me in on the end goals of my life… lol. Like let me take a sneak peak at HIS blueprint for my life. ??♀️ Now approaching the Lincoln Tunnel and reflecting on the fact that as much as NYC drains and exhausts me at times….I LOVE IT! ?Currently rocking this black see through kimono style jacket with my Blue Bang MAC Lipstick….and I’m ready for the subway. Ready to just be me. No matter what…I know I have a blessed life and I am completely grateful for it. ?? Just reflecting while I sit in traffic. Open to new chapters and more laughter. Open to just enjoy being in love in this present moment. It was never my plan to fall in love with any guy…much less fall in love (and hate at times) with one man for 9 years. Ups and downs…highs and lows….at least I now know that shit is possible. Sitting in the tunnel with my heart beating. ? Present in my own life…through the good and bad. I think that’s what it is all about. ??? ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday! Have a blessed day! Make the most of it!!!!