After a long week, this is exactly how I feel?? Beautifully put!
Archives for December 2015
We’ve been dating for almost 3 months and I’ve yet to name the new boo. I thought long and hard about it and decided on the name Elijah which means “Yahweh is God” in Hebrew. While Elijah is not religious, if you remember correctly, the morning we officially met I had been on the train crying and praying. Crying and praying for God to deliver me out of the mess I got myself into. I’ve no clue what will happen with Elijah but he brought me hope at a time I felt hopeless. I just had to give him a spiritual name. I shall call him ELIJAH…stay tuned.
In my day, twerking wasn’t around yet, so we were “backing our asses up” in our little black dresses (how soon some of us forget). I grew up with BET uncut and skinimax. And I was born close to the end of the real hip hop era. But even with all of that and watching the “Pimps up, Hoes down” special on HBO with my college friends, my MOTHER was my greatest role model and i hit a book harder than I hit the club. MY MOTHER is still my role model. It’s called parenting. Stop looking for celebrities to fill your role. FYI and I still prayed and went to mass! I’m not perfect but what I’m trying to point out is neither are any of you, including Mrs. Curry.
Ugh…feminism is a continuous movement. It’s not a trend and to be honest no one can embody every part of it like Christianity. Only Jesus can! You can be modest without ever making a comment on what others are doing. For example, Michelle Obama #ourfirstlady and Beyoncé are both mothers and wives. They seem to enjoy each other’s company and while the two have totally different jobs, styles, and roles in America neither one is tearing the other down. Both private women which means what they truly do for their husbands only they know. Mrs. Curry has the right to save her body for her husband but let’s be honest…she threw shade at other women. Look at her post closely. It was shade. She stated her opinion and I applaud her. But please don’t think that there’s only one type of successful mother and wife. Real women get it done without pointing it out. “Slut shaming” gives into “rape culture.” If you are not following then you know nothing about feminism especially black feminism and need to pick up a book! FYI some of y’all praising Mrs. Curry (without addressing some of the negative power of her words) would be pissed off if you went to a Beyoncé concert and she was covered from head to toe. So would many of you men. She is an entertainer! Also, some men ain’t trippin off what their wife wears if she loyal, faithful, a great mom, and down for him. I support a woman/wife to do as she sees fit. Every husband and wife do their marriage differently. Jay Z went for “the hottest chick in the game” and so did President Obama! Props to them both because both women are beautiful and clearly family oriented. Lastly, please stop thinking celebrities should be the role models for your children. My role models growing up were MY MOTHER and Oprah and in that order. Nakedness is not what’s killing families. We have bigger issues especially in the black community. *drops mike* ~KJM #stillgotloveforthecurrys #blackfeminist
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in shopping and preparing for Santa/the holiday season especially if you have children. We often talk about giving and usually are referring to giving to complete strangers…which is a beautiful thing! This post, however, is about giving in your inner circle.
First, if you know of anyone who has recently suffered a loss, please try to reach out to them. This can be a death or divorce. Loss can be described in so many ways. You may not be able to heal a broken heart but just a kind word could make a big difference.
Second, some people may have very little family or friends. Please invite them over for your big holiday dinner. Even if they say they want to be alone, insist that they stop in even for an hour. It’s just little things like this that may put a smile on someone’s face.
Third, your season of blessings may be so awesome that you want to shout it to the world! Amen! But please remember that if you just had a baby, having a discussion about your joy with a friend that suffered a miscarriage may not be the thing to do. Be sensitive to your inner circle! People who are going through hurt can be happy for you and still feel their loss deeply. It’s not an “either or” test. Be kind!
Fourth, whatever you do…please do not attempt to give your hurting loved ones advice during your season of celebration and their season of loss. No one knows what it takes to make another human being happy. They have to figure it out for themselves. Just be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. So suggesting that a newly divorced person should start dating may not be the way to go. People have to do things in their time. I know you think you are helping but suggestions like these come off hurtful. It’s like saying…”hey I don’t think you are doing enough to be happy.“
And lastly, please remember that everyone will have a season of suffering, including you. I’m sure you would want love, kindness, and support during such a difficult time. Thus, give what you would pray to receive in a season of depression, sickness, death, job loss, and over all transition in a time of loss. Never forget that your season of celebration has the ability to uplift others. Use your blessings wisely. ~KJM on Flashback Friday. This time of year is the hardest for me for many reasons…
I know that I’m blessed. There’s no way I would deny that but for some reason this time of year (the Christmas/New Years season) makes me feel like I’ve come up short every year. I’m pretty sure I, like many people, suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Still even with knowing that, once I take stock of my year as it comes to an end….it always appears that my hopes and dreams died with it. This year I had great hopes for the love I found in 2010. For sure, I thought the ex factor would keep his promises and be a different man than he had been all the other years. This year he was worst than any other year. With each passing month, my hopes and dreams of spending my life with the man I’ve loved the most got crushed. At some point I felt like I was drowning and every day was filled with sadness while every other day was filled with tears. What had become of my life? I left him before…for two years though we still communicated because he never wanted to lose contact. I went through phases of loving and hating him but 2015 brought on some new emotions. Tired, sick and tired, and then downright disgusted by him were my new emotions. As I clung to my sanity, I prayed God would rescue me because I felt trapped. He lost his job in March and I just couldn’t leave until he got a new one. Summer 2010, I was in the midst of a bad storm and the ex factor rode it out with me. I felt indebted. So I stayed and I stayed tortured. Prayer after prayer. Only the Good Lord Himself could save me. Finally, he got a job and 24 hours later I asked for a break. After all I was broken and sick and tired. I earned that break! This was almost 3 months ago and I still feel like I barely have my head above water. I just kept praying and praying as I moved forward. Me and my broken self need to forever be free of a love that was never meant to be. The crazy thing is even with freeing myself, this time of year, as it gets darker outside earlier and colder, I still feel like a failure. It’s like there will never be a New Years where I say…this was my year and I thank you Lord. I’m generally saying, this was a year of hardship and yet I still thank you Lord. I’m forever “praising HIM in the Hallway” before that door of utter abundance and blessings open. To all my believers, do you ever feel like HE has you on a permanent waiting list? I’ve a semi career, family life is ok (though I can’t wait until I’m living on my own again), new boo can be a breath of fresh air at times and a ball of confusion at other times…yet I’m grateful. But why am I always waiting and in the midst of that wait I’m being told to be patient. PAUSE! In the middle of writing this blog on the subway, I had to stop to get off the train. Just as I was walking to the end of the train, I see a young lady on the ground, the train engineer with his head sticking out his window, and two men offering to help lift her up but she doesn’t want the help. She has a prosthetic leg that gave out on her. As I watched her struggle to get up on her own, I burst out into tears! Why am I asking God if He has forsaken me by not giving me love nor a booming career?! The lady in front of me would probably be happy with two legs! Jesus be a fence! This time of year makes some of us, me including, throw ourselves a pity party! It’s not to say that I shouldn’t feel heartbreak because I do…but I should be focused on the bigger blessings. God allowed me to quit my job in Richmond and move back to Jersey within 48 hours last April yet HE always kept me working! Also, while it hurt closing the door on the ex factor and the future I prayed on, God gave me the strength to close that door and move forward! I’m breathing, I can walk, I can smell the flowers, and guess what?! He’s allowing me to step into a new season of hope! AMEN! So if you are like me and you are suffering from S.A.D., hold on, move forward, and thank the Lord, you are no longer where you were yesterday! This is why I love blogging in real time as opposed to sitting down and carefully writing out my thoughts. I hope you can feel my sadness, my tears, and my joy in writing this post! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday
I want him to learn how to make love to me. I don’t want to be fucked. Been fucked most of my dating life…figuratively and literally. I’m ready to have my heart skip a beat just from hearing his voice. I’m ready to breathe him as he breathes me. Taste for taste…heartbeat for heartbeat. 2016 is the year for love!
~Unknown. Important Hump Day Message!
All day long I’ve wanted to say something but the words just wouldn’t come out. If today wasn’t your day, hang on! Tomorrow just might be. Keep the faith!
I think women should be kind to one another and not put each other down. Your style may not be my style but I can still appreciate it. Society already pins us against each other as friends, for the attention of men, as businesswomen, and even as mothers! The least we could do is support one another and not judge. So to all the plain janes of the world, I salute you! But respect that I am not one of you. I dress the way I see fit and I never let society tell me it’s too much nor too little based on my gender, age, religion etc. Be easy and remember we get more accomplished building each other up rather than down. Real class is being who you are flawlessly and without saying a negative word to tear someone else down. #messageforayeshacurry #istillgotloveforthecurrys